Shay

fifteen

"What kind of a deal?" I asked calmly. I did not want him to think I was naïve just because I was ready to deal with his plan without further concern. I actually had concerns.

But if I wanted this adventure, I had to push them aside and not think about them anymore.

"I think Miss Smith confronted you with this already," He stated as he looked at me, raising his eyebrow. He probably didn't want to go further into this topic as much as I didn't want him to.

I knew very well what he was talking about. And my concerns came back to my mind.

But I decided to play it a little dumb, I wanted him to speak his words. I knew I couldn't do such with Harry. This didn't mean that I had built some respect for Harry, it was quite the opposite.

But having him just stay on the other side of this door and talk to so many people who he seemed to be a big idol for, I knew I couldn't play such games with him. Having me acting rude right in front of him, he'd probably just push me out of his office right away.

I was pretty sure, I had wanted that earlier until Harry took me away from reality.

I replied meekly, "Yes, she told me about a deal you planned. But she hasn't added much."

I wish I had as much self confidence, much enough to be rude to others. A few days before, I would never have dared to be this way, but here I was, in front of John, and wanted him to push his deal deep down his arse.

Even though I decided to push away my concerns acout the deal just minutes ago, I couldn't bring myself do it. I was way too worried. Or, I was just afraid of this deal. I knew what John wanted to say about this deal.

He was about to tell me that he wanted to pay me for writing about him just the way he wanted me to write about him. This is what Mrs. Smith had told me. It could also be the bad what I should write, but as long as John could pull out the best advantages of my article, it didn't matter.

I should go for this deal – for my heart, that wanted to live adventurously, and for Miss Smith, because she wanted this magazine to continue being alive, and for Jenna, because she would have slapped me after telling her about me not going for this deal.

But I felt like a child who needed the consent of her parents before they could do anything legally. I knew this deal had consequences.

On one hand, John would trust me a lot because we'd be two people who had one deep connection – a deal.

On the other hand, I would lose all respect that people were just about to have for me. They'd call me a bad word, a bitch who only writes for money even though I never wanted that.

These were, in fact, the consequences I expected to follow from this deal, and I'd lie if I said I wasn't afraid of them. I would've liked to ask Miss Smith what to do, because she seemed to have most experience with something such as that. God knew how many deals she had already agreed too. Also, I would have liked to talk to Harry now, despite the kiss and, especially, the things he had said to me. But he would only act for his own benefit because he was working with John.

He would tell me to enter this deal, even offer me more money.

Or kiss me again until I gave myself to him unrestrainedly.

I weighed the consequences in my head,  debated in my mind if I could trust him at this very moment.

"The deal consists a great opportunity for the both of us," John shrugged. "And a great amount of money for you, Shayleen."

I almost chuckled at him referring to me as Shayleen, even though this was exactly how I had introduced myself to him.

I gave him an understanding look, wanting nothing more than letting him believe I was open for his idea.