G H E T T O

GHETTO (28)

2 Weeks later

Tuesday, January 8th, 2018

J

Daddy💘💦🍆 Damn J I don't know how to say this but I might not make it back... You know I might be the realist nigga I've ever met. So imma stay on my real shit and tell you str8 up, you might not see me again unless I'm in a casket or my death bed. I know for all the shit I've did I know I'm going str8 to hell no ifs, ands, buts, about that. In about 5 weeks I'll either come back alive or a key and a note will be on your door, I guess we'll see where it go from there I guess you can say this like my final goodbye.. I love you baby

336 hours he has been gone and might not be coming back...

14 days I've sat in my room along with my bestest friend and only conversing with her reading the message over and over again

13 nights I've laid by myself not feeling secure...

5 days have went pass of me thinking I'm pregnant...

"J." I heard Cherish call out

"Umhm" I hummed

"Everything gone be okay ... Right?"

I shrugged in her arms, "We fell in love with thugs and these the type of thing that we have to accept. I think we will never know how to accept them but we will learn to do it anyways, it won't always be this hard... I guess." It fell silent

I heard Cherish start to sob, I sighed and shook my head. I can't even find the tears to cry anymore.

I got up to use the bathroom and thought about the pregnancy test... I went in my closet and got them. As I handled my business... on the stick, I waited in the bathroom for five minutes

I thought, what if I really am pregnant? What will happen?? Will I be able to handle it? Will it be harder or easier than I think?? Will I be a good single parent??

After thinking a little bit I checked the stick and it was positive....

"NoO, No, No, God please no, say not so." I cried out loud. I slid down the wall and just let tears fall some were silent, some weren't.

After a while I recollected myself. I dusted myself off and pulled the door open, accepting the fact I am pregnant. I handed the test to Cherish and walked out of the room going into the kitchen. I took out some chicken and boiled hot water for rice and mashed potatoes. I seasoned some cobbed-corn putting it in little water.

After a few hours my food was ready I fixed Cherish a plate and took it to her.

"Congratulations." She mumbled as I entered the room

"I don't know if I want it or not but I don't believe in abortions so I'm stuck with it. We're growing parents now." She smiled knowing she was gonna be a parental figure in this child's life. "Eat!" I demand. She played around with her food so I grabbed the fork and put it to her mouth making her eat.

After I made sure she ate I ate and I felt like I was never getting full.

After some time I heard the door open I looked up and Blue was standin in the door.

"It smells like my grandmas cooking in here." She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"How have y'all been??"

"Emotional wreak." I put my head in my hands "same." She spoke and shook her head I gave her a confused look

"Why?"

"You don't know do you?" I shook my head. "Your brother went with them because they lost a few men so they had to get some more and he was one, I've been and wreak since he left knowing he might not come back." She started to cry silently that just broke my heart right there... I don't wanna live this life Nomo