Moths and Butterflies

Chapter 13 - Darius

Jealousy is my biggest enemy. I never knew it until right when Addie told me about Sawyer. Two days after that happened, I went searching for the one other person she had wanted.

Elliot.

I waited until he wasn't around Addie, then made my move. I already knew what I was planning to say, and I didn't care if anyone actually watched for once. Elliot was by a locker, presumably his own, staring at nothing. When I was standing right in front of him I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling a familiar wave of anxiousness when he looked up.

"Oh, hey Darius. Are you wondering where Addie is?" He asked, completely unaware. I noticed that his two extra eyes were more noticeable the more you studied him, and I honestly liked that about him.

"No actually, I wanted to talk to you." I could hear my voice as I replied, it sounded more raspy and slightly deeper than usual.

His facial expression turned surprised. "Me? Why?"

The anxiety came back again. "Well.. Addie has Sawyer now. I'm still by myself, and so are you. So.. I was wondering if.." I somehow couldn't even finish it. Elliot was starting to understand and I saw his face go red.

"Are you asking me out?" I could hear the excitement in his response.

"Yeah. I was already starting to like you before and I thought now could be my chance," I said, but that unfortunately was a small lie. Elliot started to smile, and I knew I said the right thing.

"Sure Darius, I'd love to." His smile grew wider and I felt like I just accomplished the greatest mission ever.

That mission of course, was to break Addie's heart. It sounds terrible, believe me I know, but she deserves it after what she did to me.

So that was the start of our relationship. Then Addie decided to track us down after we thought it would be comical to prank call her little pretty boy a few times, which ended in her leaving anyways. I could tell Elliot wanted to be close, and at first I didn't let him. But as time went on I allowed it in and I grew to enjoy it myself. I hung out at his place every week, and we usually just talked or did other couple related things. 

That jealousy never left me though. In fact, it grew. I completely cut Addie off, and tried not to look at her in the school hallway because she'd always be holding hands with Sawyer. I stayed after school one day to study for some test and ended up finding them making out under the gym's bleachers. Jealousy wasn't the only thing that grew. The hurt did too. Seeing Addie turn into every other girl Sawyer had made me want to take her away and try to talk senses into her. But I knew there was no use. That beautiful girl was still there, but she wasn't herself anymore. She was noticed now, and not worrying about people's rude opinions. She wasn't an outcast.

It was like she was Cinderella. A poor girl who only cleans and wishes for the better in the beginning, then becomes recognized and granted a happily ever after in the end. 

I didn't get a happily ever after. Jealousy turned into hatred, but somehow I managed to keep it in around Elliot. I never wanted him hurt by my actions. Hatred turned into depression, and I found my father's pack of cigarettes one morning. I smoked a pack a day after that. I didn't bother even trying to sleep anymore, so the eye bags basically became permanent.