It will never be okay.

I was NOT expecting this..

As I was snoozing on the couch, resting and waiting for me to be awaken by whatever punishment I was going to get now, I started thinking about my life - why was it like this? Why me? I never done anything wrong, so why me? If nobody knows my story then why are they so fast to judge? Why is my life the way it is? Why if my family the way it is? Is there anything, anyone can do to help me? Is there anybody who cares? Why is-

My little rant was interrupted by a sudden burning sensation on my cheek. I already knew what was going to happen next so I just went along with whatever was going to happen. I slowly opened my eyes to the brightness of the living room. And, my father with a smug look on his face. I knew what to do, and so did he. I slowly sat up,careful not to bring back any pain from yesterday. All of that went to waste as I was thrown off the couch by no other than my own father. I then proceeded to land on the floor with a loud thud, and may I say, OW! That hurt like alot, but I wasn't anywhere near showing my dear father how much pain I was in since that was all he wanted. 

"Jesus honey, you're so fat! Did you hear the sound you just made? I don't think you should have any breakfast or dinner today.." When I thought he was finally finished and started standing up, he pushed me back down. I assume he hadn't yet finished. "As I was saying before I got rudely interrupted, I don't think you should be having breakfast or dinner today, and for the rest of the week." He finished his sentence with an amused, and whatnot proud smirk.  

Ha! He actually thought I cared. I got used to having no food by now. The thing that would actually hurt was either physical abuse, or actually eating. Now that I think about it, I don't remember the last time I ate something that actually counts as food, the only reason I ate now, was just to survive, and I was used to it. 

I was brought back from my thoughts by a strong pain on my left cheek. When I came back to my senses I realized that my dad had just punched me and I all ready knew it was going to leave a bruise. 

"Go make me breakfast you little bitch." He snapped at me. The only emotions his face held were hatred and disgust. If I hadn't already gone through this conversation with myself a million times before, then I would have been upset by this, but I grew out of it through time.

When I finally managed to get up without spitting up any blood, I collapsed with a strong pain in my lower stomach, and accidentally caught my dad's shirt in the process I landed on the floor pulling my dad down with me, so he was sitting next to me while I was lying on the floor in pain, I was ready for another beating for the scene I had just caused, but instead of his loud, obnoxious, and angry voice shouting at me, all I heard was him cooing in my ear telling me it was going to be okay, with a concerned look on his face which also showed in his shaky voice, as he dialed the ambulance. When he hung up, I couldn't make out any of the words that were coming out of his mouth, but he sounded like my actual father, and not the man that he turned into after mom died. 

I was so confused, but before I could question anymore, my vision slowly disappeared and all I saw was black.

Let's just say, I was NOT expecting this..