The Break Up Girl (Slow Updates)

☿cinco -the confession

five. -the confession

                                      "Tell me, Daniel," I say, before tossing a chip into my mouth and immediately digging my hand back into the bag, "is your Aunt nice?"

Daniel frowns, pausing his tapping finger against the steering wheel, "I guess you could say that."

"What do you mean?" I say, and for a moment there I panic.

"I mean, she's a really kind lady, but sometimes she can be too... honest sometimes."

"What do you mean?" I say, listening to the breaking of the chips in my mouth.

Daniel sighs, "Well, you see, one time I brought this girl over-"

"So I'm not the first girl?" I interrupt, inwardly grinning when he nervously laughs. Again, I'm playing with him, but he still doesn't notice this. Or he's just playing along, which really isn't possible since Daniel always has been the honest and gullible type of guy.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Who was she?"

Daniel frowns, "Are we talking about my Aunt or my ex?"

I think for a moment, before I reply, "First, your ex, then, your Aunt."

Daniel sighs, almost irritatingly. For a moment, I can feel the hesitation and the barriers building up again, but soon enough he drops them back, and this time, his voice is soft, whispering and sad. "My Ex's Name was Mira."

Immediately, the guilt washes over me. "Oh. Sorry, gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to annoy you- I had no idea it was her. God, this is so embarrassing. I know she's not really a nice topic to talk about, so let's just- uh- talk about your Aunt now." This is the first time that it's me who is stuttering and guiltily embarrassed, and it feels quite strange.

Daniel waves his hand dismissively, but his jaw is clenched and his eyes hold so much sorrow and bitterness. We remain in awkward silence, but it's full of tension. Suddenly, the grey sky and the passing trees and the whirring of his engine as we barrel down the street seems so lonely and sad, but I shake this off.

Sighing, I try to speak but Daniel shakes his head.

Bitch, what have you done?

The silence engulfs us and the only thing we can here is the chewing and breaking of the chips and the crackling noise of the plastic bag against my rummaging hand. The guilt bites down and rolls over me from time to time, and I keep glancing at Daniel at the corner of my eyes. However, he does not make a move to return my glances or acknowledge me, which causes my insides to twist and churn like a whirlwind. His position is waveringly crumbling and his hands are clenched, with his silencing movements killing me. I beg for him to just look up or glance at me so that I know what he's feeling, or if he's upset with me, but he doesn't, which makes everything worse.

I don't know how long time has passed but finally, ever so slowly, Daniel stops the car, causing me to questioningly look at him. But once again, he doesn't. I'm afraid if any car heading in the same directions as us, will honk at us, but the streets are empty. The silence is even more deafening when he shuts off the engine and remains wordless.

I expect him to snap his head up and shout that I'm a heartless bitch, that I'm dumb and clueless and absolutely careless. I expect him to climb out of the car and calmly open mine and tell me to get out, with a relaxed tone yet holding so much venom. I expect him to snap at me, to growl at me and to shake his head and stop talking to me for the rest of the ride. I expect him to turn the car around and drive back to town, bring me back home without a single good-bye. I expect him to do anything, anything but silence that kills me bit by bit.