Unfulfilled Desires (Adhori Chahatein)

♡♥When He Asks And I can't Tell♡♥

Raseen ~ POV

The smell of melting cheese on top of the white sauce baked macaroni instantly salivate my mouth and I realize how famished I am. I haven't had anything all day after spending straight four days in the bed.

My fingers ached to be used and I manage to finish the last piece of my exhibition that is to be held in England in the first week of a new month. After days of not having to play with beautiful colors I felt like color was draining out of my life.

The piece came out better than I had thought of yet somehow I wasn't happy. The thought of Wasiq finding out realities about himself, stayed in the back of my head all the time. I want to tell him everything but it would hurt him to know that I am telling him.

Even if I do tell him,he wouldn't believe me. This is the problem. I don't think I would be able to hear him telling me that I am lying and hiding. I can't even lie to myself now let alone him. He made himself my need. A need that would always believe in me and my decision. A need that completely runs me.

The buzzing of the timer, pulls me out of my trance and I put on yellow silicon mittens to takeout my baked cheese macaroni. The baked aromatic smell fills the surrounding of the kitchen and soon it will fill the living room as well. I was about to set it on table when Wasiq voice, filled with anger,resentment, and questness blares in which disturbs the serenity of calmness that once existed.

Did he find out... what he thinks is not what he really is. It must be that why else would he get so worked up. His voice wakes me up again and the way he pauses between each word, fear occupies my heart.

I begin to shake and in the process before I could set the baked dish on the table, it slips off my hand and everything splatters onto the floor as the ceramic baking dish crashes the floor. The macaroni intermingles with red ceramic pieces, making me fall into daze as I see it getting stick to the floor like it was meant to be made to fall. 

A loud cry escapes my mouth as the ceramic piece pierce through the skin of my palm and white macaroni instantly gets repainted into the shade of dark red. A feeling so old resurfaced as I thought it wouldn't and suddenly I felt like the kid is choking me to death.

Everything stops for awhile as I fear how will I face Wasiq. How will I mend him. How will he carry the burden of his loss and pain. Will I ever be able to carry it with him...will he allow me to do that.

"Raseen"

His voice sounded so near and I wanted to hide from him ever more now. The minute I hear his feet pounding the floor, I get up and turned around showing him my trembling back.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He produce as his feet comes to rest upon finding me.

So, he knows that I knew the biggest secret of his life which could....no...it is perhaps already changing the way his life will go.

"I didn't have the courage to tell you. I couldn't hurt you by telling what you know now" I said with dry voice.

"You don't need courage for anything else that you say to me but for this....I get it."

I am hurt by the way, he is twisting my words.

"What did you get?" I said as I turn around and build myself to face him if we are to talk.