Lie Until You Laugh

10- Bad Moods

Monday is rough.

There’s a few reasons as to why Monday is incredibly painful. One of those reasons being that it’s Monday. After two days of total relaxation and calmness, I’m waking up early in the morning to go to practice. Not to mention that everybody’s pretty much annoyed because it’s Monday.

“You better be holding it until your knees are numb,” Penn the Petrifying snaps as we’re all pressed against the wall with our backs pressed against the throbbing cinder block wall. Well, maybe the wall isn’t throbbing, but something inside of me surely is. I really hate wall-sits. I really, really hate them. I can do squats and burpees and suicides and push-ups and pull ups but wall sits are my kryptonite.

“I’m dead,” Stella whispers from my right.

I bite my tongue so that I don’t laugh because I’ll probably topple over. Somebody already fell down earlier and now that girl is puking in a bucket by the amount of burpees and suicides Penn the Petrifying made her do as a consequence.

“Somebody’s cranky today,” She whispers again. Penn is pretty far away so he doesn’t hear her whispering. I’d fear for her life if he caught her.

“Maybe he’s on his period,” I whisper back.

“Why the fuck are you talking?” His deep voice demands, glaring in my direction.

How does he do that? I think to myself. He hears me but not Stella. I am an amazing whisperer. Well, I guess I’m not that amazing with it or I have the worst timing ever. I watch with wide eyes as he stomps over to me and now he’s standing right in front of me. He stares at me for a minute before slowly crouching down so that he is eye level with me and I decide that maybe it would be a good idea to invest in adult diapers.

“I asked you a question,” Penn the seriously Petrifying reminds me when I stay silent. Everybody’s looking at me now, some looks of pity and some looks of excitement.

“I had to tell her something,” I say slowly, trying not to say the wrong thing.

“And what was that?” He asks with raised eyebrows.

I don’t look him in the eye, but I try to make it look like I am because I feel like it’d make me seem more tough. I look at his creasing forehead to create that illusion and to take my mind off of the terrifying situation that I got myself in, I follow the creases on his forehead like a maze. “I told her that I’m on my period,” I inform him, trying to stay as close to the truth as I possibly could. Stella coughs beside me but I can tell that it’s just her way to disguise a laugh.

Penn blinks a few times, obviously not expecting that response and then stands back up so that he towers over me. “If you fall, you’re staying for an extra half an hour.”

I stifle a groan but when I look at the clock, I’m sure that I can finish just fine because there’s only five minutes left. He usually lets us out at one even though it’s not an official time. Just five more minutes and then I’m golden.

However, my confidence dwindles when I see that he’s not done with me. He’s still standing there in front of me and when he sees that I’m not just going to fall over, he decides to make it harder for me. I watch with dread as he lifts his foot up and presses it down on my already-trembling thigh. The bottom of his gym shoe presses down and I can feel the imprint as he continues to push harder. I’m wearing short gym shorts, so I can feel the hard rubber on my bare skin.

“You’re not as strong as you think you are,” He informs me.

I clench my teeth and press against the wall as hard as I can to ignore the weight of his foot on my thigh. I can do this, just four more minutes and then pizza or spaghetti or a sub. Any kind of food. I’m not that hungry but I always love food, so I close my eyes and I think of the food that I’ll be able to eat in just four minutes and 48 seconds.