sweetest downfall ›› renjun

41 | narration

Rylee's 

Renjun messaged me. Akala ko ba ayaw na niya? Pinapahirapan niya lang ako kapag ganito e. Lumalayo na ako sa kanya pero siya naman 'tong lapit nang lapit.

But for me, I think he needs to know the truth kung bakit ko siya iniwan noon.

Sinuot ko lang ang hoodie ko at lalabas na sana sa pinto nang biglang nagsalita si Jaemin, nandito kasi siya sa condo ko.

"Where are you going?" He asked me.

"Ren wants to talk to me and he wants to know the truth. I think it's time for him to know. Bahala na kung anong mangyayari." I smiled at him. Lalabas na sana ako pero hinila niya ako at biglang niyakap.

"Jae.." Naiilang kong sabi sa kanya. "Let's stay like this for a minute, please, Rylee. I want you to know something." I nodded as a response.

"I've been keeping this for years, Rylee. I love you. Noon pa, bago pa maging kayo ni Renjun. I didn't tell you about how I feel for you that time because I know Renjun is the one who can make you happy, and Renjun loves you too. He's my best friend at ikaw ang mahal ko, pero I gave up the both of you because I know magiging masaya kayo 'pag kayo ang magkasama.. yung mga ngiti niyo. Ang saya saya niyo at ayaw kong sirain yun." I don't know what to say at hanggang ngayon nakayakap pa rin siya sa akin.

"But this time Rylee, can you love me? Ngayong tinutulak ka ni Renjun palayo sa kanya at nasasaktan ka nang tuluyan. I want to love you and give more love to you kesa sa binigay niya. Lalabanan natin ang sakit mo and I will always stay for you." Humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin at naiyak na lang ako sa mga sinabi niya.

He sacrificed everything even his happiness para sa amin because he love the both of us. Jaemin is a great a person, pero hindi ko kayang suklian ang pagmamahal na binibigay niya para sa akin kahit na nasasaktan ako para sa kanya. I hugged him tightly.

"Jae, I'm so sorry. I didn't know na all this time you're here for me, but I can't give you the love you want dahil para sa akin best friend lang talaga kita. I'm so sorry, you don't deserve me." Humagulgol naman ako dahil sa sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman ko.

"Shh.. you don't need to be sorry. Una pa lang alam ko nang si Renjun talaga ang laman ng puso mo at hindi ko mapapalitan 'yon. Hindi mo kailangan ibalik sa akin at lalong hindi mo kasalanan na mahal kita. Don't worry, I'm always here for you." He smiled at me while wiping his tears.

He kissed my forehead. "Puntahan mo na si Renjun, naghihintay na 'yon sa 'yo."

"I'm sorry Jaemin. I'm thankful to have you." After that pinaalis na niya ako at pinapunta na kay Renjun.