Dress Me Up Or Dress Me Down

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What the hell is he doing here? Why the hell does he have fucking hickeys on his neck? Why the hell do I even care?

The guys and Dianne were still playing pool when I decided to play Darts on the opposite side of the room. Away from them. Away from Axel.

Sa totoo lang gusto ko ng umuwi, simula pa lang nung dumating siya pero I don't wanna spoil the fun. I was genuinely having a great time with the guys and my girls look like they're enjoying their company. I'm not that selfish to ruin their night just because mine was ruined.

I am not uncomfortable with Axel. I'm mad and frustrated at him. Out of frustration; I harshly threw a dart pin. After that, I threw another one in the same manner. I was venting out all of my frustration about my life, my parents, my studies, and even Axel.

Kinuha ko ang mga dart pins na nakadikit sa clockboard. Nang makabalik ako sa akin pwesto ay nakatayo na doon si Kalmin. Binigyan niya ako ng isang tipid na ngiti.

"Walang kasalanan sa'yo 'yung dart board, huwag mo sa kaniya ibuhos lahat ng galit mo," sabi niya.

Medyo napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. Inabutan ko siya ng mga dart pins. "Wanna play?"

"I don't play dart often," sagot niya at kinuha ang mga dart pins sa kamay ko, our hands barely touched each other.

I made the first shot and I scored 13 points. It was Kalmin's turn to shoot. He raised his right arm, I could see that he's not trying to flex his arm but the lines on his arm just voluntarily shows. He threw his pin as it landed on 16 points. 

"I have an idea to make this game interesting," sabi ko kay Kalmin.

Tumingin siya sa akin. His pair of dark pools used to intimidate me a lot before but seeing it right now made me feel at ease somehow. Maybe because I like that I could see my reflection from his eyes.

"'Yung player na makakakuha ng mas mataas na score sa bawat turn nila ay pwedeng magtanong ng kahit ano. Hindi pwedeng hindi sumagot and dapat honest."

"So is this your way of trying to know me better, Tori?" tanong ni Kal.

I nonchalantly shrugged, "Maybe. Or maybe I just want you to know me better."

I threw the dart pin and scored 15 points while Kal scored 12 points this time.

"Did you hate me from the first time we meet until I became your stylist?" diretsong tanong ko sa kaniya. Matagal ko ng gustong itanong sa kaniya ito. The boys, especially Kal, and I started off in the wrong foot.

"I didn't hate you but I didn't like you either," tugon niya.

"I don't get it,"

"I didn't hate or loathe you just because your friend threw up on my car," sabi niya at napatingin sa direksyon ni Dianne na masayang kausap sila Kazi, Kaden, at Caleb. I saw his lips curved into a smile, he might have never imagined that he would be hanging out with her right now. "I'm not that petty and shallow. I didn't like you at first because you were too feisty and aggresive. Nung sinabi ko sa'yo na okay lang 'yung nangyari sa kotse ko, I really mean that it was fine. Pero, you started to confront me like I was the wrong one."

So, does that mean that I started it? Hindi ko siya maintindihan. He didn't hate me but he didn't like me either.

"But you cursed me off that night." I defended myself.

Napailing na lang si Kalmin. "Does it really matter now?"

"So you don't hate me now?" nakangiting tanong ko sa kaniya.

"I can't answer that question, Tori. Remember, isang tanong lang." sagot ni Kalmin na nakangisi.

"Fine. Tataasan ko na lang 'yung next score ko." I said as I threw the pin and scored 11 points.

Kalmin took his turn and scored 15 points.

"Were you uncomfortable with me at first? Like did I scare you off?" tanong niya na para bang nag-aalangan.

"Of course, I was," mabilis kong sagot. Kal looked a little surprised and hurt when I responded immediately. "Ang sungit sungit mo kaya! Tapos hindi ka pa nagsasalita. And you were looking at me like you're plotting something bad against me."

Kalmin didn't answer. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin na para bang inaaral ang mukha ko. Maybe he's checking if I was still mad or scared of him.

I gave him a reassuring smile and continued. "Pero dati 'yun. You're not cold or scary as I thought you were. Maybe you're just a little awkward? I can see how you treat your friends as if they were your brothers. How you throw those cringe-y dad jokes and laugh with them. How you look like a proud father kapag may mga achievements ang MX. How you take care of them. Lahat 'yun napansin. Even me, nung binigyan mo ko ng Yakult last night para 'di sumakit ang tiyan ko."

Napangiti si Kalmin sa sinabi ko. "Wow, I didn't know you appreciated me that much."

"Well, I didn't know you're this cocky," I retorted. 

We spent another good 15 minutes playing darts. We've had asked random things about each other. I really found it surprising that I had so much talking to Kalmin about different things. Nalaman ko na dati siyang swimmer noong high school at college siya. That's why his shoulders are very broad. 

Nalaman ko rin na he really likes kids and would want to have a younger brother. Only child lang kasi siya as well as the rest of the guys. Kaya pala parang magkakapatid na rin ang turingan nila sa isa't isa.

"My turn." sabi ko at inihanda ang sarili ko para ihagis ang dart pin. I scored 20 points. "May naisip na akong tanong so you better tell the truth, Kal." 

Gusto kong tanong sa kaniya kung anong tingin niya sa akin ngayon na mas komportable na kami sa isa't isa. Kanina ko pa gustong itanong sa kaniya ito pero ayokong isipin niya na-self centered ako.

Ngumisi siya na para bang may gusto siyang iparating. He raised his arm. I could see his concentration as he closed one of his eye. He threw the dart pin and got a bull's eye. 

My jaw dropped in surprise. "Damn, you're good at this, Kal."

"Remember the rules, Tori, we have to be honest with our answers," sabi ni Kalmin. Tinitigan niya ako sa aking mga mata at muli kong naramdaman ang pamilyar na pagkabog ng dibdib ko. "Do you like Axel?" he sternly asked. 

I was taken aback by his question. Hindi ko maisip kung bakit niya itinanong iyon. Surely the guys might have noticed that there's something strange going on between me and Axel. Hindi ako masyadong mabibigla kung si Kaden or Kazi ang nagtanong nito, pero si Kalmin? 

"I don't like him." matigas kong sabi, hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

Inalis niya ang tingin niya sa akin at ibinaling ito sa aking likod. Sinundan ko ang tingin niya at nakita ko si Axel na nakatayo sa likuran ko.

His eyes were dark and cold. He had the same face when I told him off. Seeing him like that scares me because I know that he's capable of hurting me more than he should.