Dress Me Up Or Dress Me Down

VIII

"Sa tingin mo ba gaga ako for liking Axel kahit na hindi ko pa siya masyadong kilala?" tanong ko kay Gus na katabi kong nakaupo sa mga bean bags namin sa veranda. Kaming dalawa lang ang tao ngayon sa condo dahil may shooting si Dianne habang si Cass naman ay nag-overnight sa bahay ng kaniyang block mate para sa kanilang presentation.

Sa kanilang tatlo nila Cass at Dianne, kay Gus ako madalas humihingi ng payo sa iba't ibang bagay, although nakikinig din naman ako sa kanilang dalawa, there's something about Gus' advises that speaks to me on a different level. Na para bang ang simple lang ng lahat.

"Liking a person doesn't necessarily mean that you have to know everything about them," she said as she folded her legs and hugged them, "for your case, you're starting to like Axel because you're attracted to him and want to know him better, right?" she looked at me and smiled.

"Pero hindi ba parang ang bilis? I just met him a few weeks ago and here I am worried over something so trivial like infatuation," natatawang sabi ko.

Gus stared at the scenery before us. Lights coming from the sea of towering establishments and residences shone like the night sky.

"Hindi mo naman masasabi kung ano, bakit, at paano mo magugustuhan ang isang tao. You may know someone for ten years and feel nothing for him and know someone for ten minutes and feel like he's the one. Minsan kahit gaano mo na katagal ang isang tao at kahit kilalang-kilala mo na siya ay wala ka pa ring mararamdaman para dito," ngumiti siya sa akin pero hindi ko makita ang saya sa mukha niya, "may mga taong bigla na lang darating sa buhay mo na parang malakas na ulan sa araw na nakalimutan mong magdala ng payong. Darating sila kung kailan hindi mo inaasahan at hindi ka handa. Making you frustrated and flustered at the same time,"

Axel was like a strong rain-- no, he's like a typhoon that makes my rationality to bend and sway against my will. I made myself clear that I'll separate my personal life from work. Seeing how Axel managed to stir up my emotions like this made me hate myself for being so weak against him.

Gus continued, "and it's your decision if you're going to wait until the rain stops or be spontaneous and run under the rain and enjoy every second of it."

I have to admit that I never had a dull moment with Axel. Whenever we talk about the most random things, when he sends me those cheesy and corny pickup lines, when he smiles at me like he's the happiest when he's with me, when he makes me feel assured and that I got nothing to be scared of.

"Pero pwede kang magkasakit kapag nagpa-ulan ka," tugon ko sa kaniya.

Axel could make me feel the happiest girl when I'm with him, but he's innate playboy nature can struck anytime and leave me with nothing but pain. He might like me now, but until when? Until he gets tired of me? When he finds out that I'm not as interesting as he thought?

"Gagaling ka rin naman, but what really matters is that you had fun."

I sighed as I embraced my legs as well. "Ang hirap maging marupok lalo na kapag hot 'yung guy."

Natawa si Gus sa sinabi ko at napailing na lang. Muli siyang tumingin sa kawalan na para bang malalim ang iniisip. Isa si Gus sa mga taong malapit sa akin pero marami pa rin akong hindi alam tungkol sa kaniya. At isa na 'dun ay kung ano-- o sino ang tumatakbo sa isip niya ngayon. Hindi man niya sinasabi sa amin ay alam kong mayroon din siyang problema na iniisip.

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Hindi ko namalayan ang pagtakbo ng oras dahil sa dami ng mga ginagawa ko. Maliban sa pagiging stylist ng MX ay sunod-sunod din ang mga presentation namin sa school. Tatlong araw na akong walang matinong tulog at nabubuhay sa kape. Sabado na ngayon, ang araw ng shoot ng MX para sa The Most magazine.