Duplicate; e.g.d

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"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

But my only question is, what is love? Some people give love a different rate, some say love could hurt
Some say love is that unconditional feeling of being happy and truly cared for.
I never knew, maybe I never will.
I've never actually experienced being loved, I don't think I'm ready for it.
I promised myself that I will not fall in love during my journey unless I'm ready for it, and I will keep that promise....
I took a unsteady deep breath in and exhaled my stress away, I wish it was that easy.. I wonder on how much of what weights me down is not mine to carry. Today I refuse to stress myself out about things I can not control or change, I'm setting a goal.. a goal I must keep.. A goal I can control, something I can change.

Stress, drama it's surrounding me it's not only a word but for me it seems like it's an addiction, like how some people are addicted to cigarettes it's not the cig  there obsessed with it's what inside... that completely describes my whole entire story.
My story will not be deeply and fully told but here is my story...

All stared May 2 1999 when a beautiful little girl, with brown hair and blue eyes came into the word, her name was Jayla. As she continued to grow up she became more mature and responsible to do things on her own, so her parents weren't around as often.. going out at night, leaving me home alone.
They weren't ready for a child or were they just not responsible enough to keep me? that's what I'm afraid about.

*17 years later*
Jayla, your average 17 year old girl.

I dramatically let out a big sigh and flopped myself onto my couch, landing straight on my face, I took a hold of my phone and scrolled through twitter.
I shut down the power on my phone and went outdoors to see what I could do in L.A... so while I was roaming downtown my thoughts were going crazy... 'maybe you could fan girl on celebs',, I looked like a psycho laughing at my own cringe jokes while I was plodding I bumped into a chest of this fit and very tall tan guy, I gasped
"omg! I'm so sorry" he look down and laughed, I was in this uncomfortable situation trying to laugh along
"Its totally ok" he was so dissimilar from all the other guys I've met,, his smile was so vivid, but he was apart from a young man standing inches away from him, I thought there were two,, maybe I was going crazy? I rubbed my eyes quite forcefully and I still saw two.. They looked so alike and they were both so cute. Meanwhile I roamed my way to a cute 'Tumblr' coffee shop to get my daybreak coffee.. But someone ended up sitting across from me, It was the boy's. I gently set down my coffee and smiled, "hey?" I said kinda puzzled.

Yo! I'm sorry I ended it now I wanted you to feel the suspense 😂 I'm gonna try and write more if you enjoyed this dm me @ethansciel on Instagram :b btw this is kinda bad I promise it will get better