Family Forever (Book 5 in Nemi Forever series)

Chapter 30

Nick

When I said "Forever," as I sat on Dr. West's couch, watching Demi, I saw a flash of something in her eyes before she looked away. First, it seemed like relief, then just before her eyes averted, I saw a fear in her eyes. It was severe. It was a stronger fear than being afraid of hurting me so badly that I couldn't forgive her. As we finished our session, I watched Demi's face for any signs, but she didn't give me any. 

After our session ended, we headed home & as I slowed for a red light, I turned to her. We had been in the car for five minutes & she hadn't said a word & never looked anywhere but out the window. "You do know that I don't think you'd hurt our kids, right?" I asked in a quiet voice, looking from her to the red light. 

She sighed. "Yea. I guess." She replied, still staring out the window. 

I reached out to touch her chin & nudged her, a little, to look at me. She finally did, but had no expression on her face. "You're an amazing mother." I said, softly, smiling. 

Finally, her expression changed & she gave me a little smile. "Thank you. And yes, I know you don't think that."  

The light changed & I accelerated. I chuckled, quietly, my eyes on the road. "Funny, now we not only have to discuss our feelings, but our fears, too." 

"We don't have to discuss our fears. We can save some things for therapy." Demi let out a short laugh, then her face turned serious.  

"You going to discuss your other fear in our next session?" I asked, concentrating on my driving, hoping she'd open up about the fear I saw in her eyes. 

I saw her smile when I glanced, quickly, at her. "I have a lot of fears, Nick. I'll talk about em, for sure. That's what I do in therapy. I'm not sure I'll talk about it during our session or in my session with her alone." 

"I want to know what has you so fearful, that it flashed in your eyes today after I said forever." The car was stopped, so I watched her. 

Demi's eyes glanced at me, then looked down at her lap. "I'd rather not talk about it." 

I took a deep breath. "Okay. Does it have something to do with me?" 

Demi looked straight ahead, out the window. "Yes." She whispered. "Not just you, but yea." 

"Is there anything I can do or say that would ease the fear?" I asked as I started driving. 

"That's the scariest part. You can't." I could hear her voice was shaking. "I'm gonna get upset, so can we not talk about it, please?" 

I reached over & grabbed her hand. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, baby. We don't have to talk about it." She flashed me a weak smile, then leaned her head back. I didn't press the subject anymore. I let it go. Whatever it was, it upset her just thinking about it, so I figured it was safer if she was with the therapist when she spoke of it. I had so many guesses as to what this fear was, especially since I knew Demi so well. But I wanted to hear it from her. I knew if she talked about it, she'd feel better. I also thought I could ease her fears somehow. 

A few days later, Demi & I were sitting down, eating dinner with the twins. We were turning into quite the chefs since we had two tiny mouths depending on us to feed them. Demi was telling me about the books she'd been working on & was getting close to finishing the parenting book. We were also talking about moving back to Texas. We both wanted to move back to our dream house, but our careers & personal lives were keeping us in L.A. for the moment.  

"I think we should stay here til Christmas and get our crap taken care of before then. I was thinking maybe after Christmas we would go on a family vacation together for the New Year. I just want it to be me, you & the twins together for New Year's. We need this. Time to be a family. " I said, leaning on the table on my arms, watching Demi put some food on Jered's highchair tray.