Eating Disorder- Ryden

6

The next morning, he woke up facing the wall, earbuds still plugged in, making his ears sore. He drowsily reached out to remove them, letting them fall onto the mattress. Nobody had tried to wake him up yet, so he assumed it was still early, and shut his eyes again, curling in on himself and sighing deeply until hearing what sounded like a conversation.

"Yeah, he said he didn't feel good." Jon, that was Jon, no doubt about it.

"Then why are you all worried?" And that was Brendon; Brendon's morning voice to be more precise, oddly a bit gruff, but he sounded sleepy, and it was somewhat preferable, but could never compare to how he sounded when he would sing.

"Because he'd do this thing back in highschool.." Jon trailed off. It soon dawned upon him that they were talking about him. He sighed through his nose, resting his arm underneath his head and opening his eyes to stare blankly at the wall in front of him, the bus ricketing beneath his bunk, making him feel slightly uneasy. Brendon asked for Jon to continue, but he never did, and Ryan was grateful for that, only half-paying attention to the rest of it before he heard Spencer and Jon say something about needing candy. A part of him had agreed with that statement; a Snickers bar sounded pretty good right about now. He shook his head at the thought, telling himself that he couldn't have that. At least, not until he manages to drop five pounds. When the room fell silent, he figured Jon and Spencer had cleared out. He could feel a pair of eyes burning metaphorical holes into the back of his skull and he didn't even have to turn to know that it was Brendon.

"You can get in with me, you know," he mumbled sleepily, sliding over so that he was nearer to the wall, allowing more room. He felt the mattress shift, then felt an almost unbearable amount of warmth collecting alongside him.

"Why do you radiate so much heat?" Ryan chuckled, feeling Brendon inch closer to him, a pair of arms enveloping him into a warm embrace.

"No idea,"Brendon replied, his smile practically audible. He knew what kind of smile it was without even opening his eyes; crooked, half-hearted, but genuine enough to reach up and make Brendon's eyes crinkle. He smiled softly, relaxing under the other boy's touch. It wasn't like they were a couple or anything. Platonic cuddling existed, right? If not, then they were straight up fucked, as they'd been doing this for a while. It had started out with one of the hotels they'd been staying in being extremely cold; he could remember having to bite his lip until he drew blood to keep his teeth from clattering together; he absolutely hated that sound.
He had been nervous, but despite that, he asked to share a bed with Brendon, who was in no position to reject him, and he'd gotten to spend the night wrapped up in his arms, in complete, comfortable silence.

"You're like a humidifier," Ryan commented.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is," Ryan insisted, "It makes you snuggly." And it really did, but not only that, he felt safe. Brendon hummed in reply. Ryan shifted slightly in attempt to get more comfortable, trying to go about it slowly so that Brendon wouldn't move.

"You okay?" Brendon asked quietly. Ryan nodded once, allowing for Brendon to continue speaking, "You seemed pretty out of it last night."

"Just a bad trip," Ryan said simply. No more words were exchanged, no mutual glances, just the occasional cold rushes of air and the steady, quiet repetition of Brendon's breathing pattern; calm, composed. He just let Brendon hold him, closely; almost protectively. He had this feeling, something that resembled being anxious, but with the smallest twinge of happiness thrown into the mix, something that he didn't quite understand.

   He had started to nod off again until he heard the sound of the door opening back up and the shuffling of feet.

"Awww," Jon's fangirling was followed up by the sound of a camera flash. Ryan quickly rolled over, having forgotten Brendon was laying beside him, finding himself staring into those bright brown eyes. Brendon smiled at him, making him immediately advert his eyes, glancing up at an overexcited Jon and a confused variation of the Spencer they'd all come to know and love. Another camera flash. Ryan groaned, rolling his eyes as he attempted to reach over Brendon, trying to grab the phone. "Stop that, it's too bright."

Brendon just laughed, drawing Ryan in closer so that he was buried face-first into Brendon's chest, overwhelmed by the scent of whatever cologne he wore.
"Come onnn, you know you love me," Brendon sniggered. Ryan sighed, helplessly attempting to pry himself free, but to no avail, although his cheeks and ears starting to heat up. He wasn't sure if it was due to Brendon's rediculous supply of body heat, or if something else had caused it, but something about the entire ordeal made him nervous.

"Ryden," Jon stifled a laugh.

"You're messing up my hair," Ryan mumbled.

"Both of them?" Brendon asked jokingly, loosening his grip and allowing Ryan to sit up. Ryan playfully rolled his eyes, climbing out of bed after him and making his way over to the corner table, snatching up his bag and frantically looking through it in search for his notebook, a bit taken aback by the fact that some things were definitely out of place, completely disregarding the thing with the camera. He came across a crumpled up sheet of notebook paper, quickly uncrinkling it and ignoring Brendon and Jon'd in depth discussion about some stupid TV show. There was one word scribbled across the paper, in handwriting that his mind couldn't quite register the owner of. 'Cutie.'

Strange. He refolded it neatly, slipping it back into his bag, trying to recall the lyrics he'd been wanting to write down. His mind was rendered blank. Prior to that came the normal routine; brush his hair out, apply make up, wash it off, apply again, repeat the process two or three times until he was satisfied, and conclude with weighing himself, this time with Spencer walking in.

"What're you.." He trailed off, looking at him suspiciously. Ryan shrugged as if it were nothing. He hadn't gained anything, which was a plus. He also hadn't lost anything. Yet.

"Am I not allowed to weigh myself?" Ryan questioned, stepping off of the scale, not wanting him to see the number.

"I mean..You look fine, dude."

Ryan nodded a couple of times, thanking him.
Fine. He could exceed that if he really tried.