Some Life Stuff

I Blocked This Out Of My Mind For Years

Okay, Yeah. I'm mentally dying and basically if you don't want to read something kinda disturbing that happened to me. Don't read this!

Anyway, Let's start at the beginning. It's my seventh year if primary school. We're learning how babies are made, Pregnancy, etc. It's a beautiful process however. Our school system was fucked up because my sister didn't see this but anyway, our school showed up a legit video of Someone giving birth. THEY EVEN SHOWED IT COMING OUT AND THE BLOOD AND IT WAS ABSOLUTLY GROSS.  I'M LEGIT TERRAFIED AND SCARRED FOR LIFE, no wonder I'm so fucked up but anyway. After my friend apparently watched me stare at the screen horrified and probably mentally dead however, Afterwards I guess I blacked out because after this I apparently did not respond to anything for about three minutes. Then I acted like it never happened but this is from what my friend told me. They could be lying. Might not be but seriously. The fuck is wrong with that, I was like nine or Ten. YOU DO NOT SHOW THAT SHIT TO KIDS. IT'S JUST. YOU DONT DO THAT. IT'S SO WRONG LIKE STOP NO BACK THE FUCK UP. but I'm glad my sister didn't see that shit. I mean, She did see the start and finish. However, I'm getting sidetracked anyway. Fast forward to me now, A fucked up Kid that is Weird as fuck but means well. Anyway, I was sitting with the friend from before talking about our old school when she says "Hey. Remember when we watched that video of someone giving birth" And me having blocked that out my mind for five years I responded with "No" before guess what? All the beautiful fucking memories flooded back and I fade palmed the table. So me being me i asked "Did the woman have black hair" and she said yes. So from lunchtime till now I've been seeing this replaying over and over in my head. And then I told my other friend who didn't go to my primary school about it and since all the schools in my area use the same stuff, They also seen it. H A H A H A
so yeah. I need emotional support and I just wanna cry. I got really weak in the knees and wanna puke but also for some reason. Wanna watch it agian. I don't know fucking end me.
Anyway, Please send help in scared