The Flash Fanfiction

Cisco Ramon Fan Fiction

Warning: this one will be touching the subjects of, depression, suicide, etc.

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this, please dont give me shit on this. I know this is a touchy subject, it was an idea I had for Cisco. If you don't wanna be sad n shit dont read this😂😂 I'll also be doing the season 2 timeline of things lolz

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It was a nice day in S.T.A.R Labs, and in Central City. Surprisingly, it was 3:00 in the afternoon and there wasn't any reports of break-ins or anything like that. Cisco was in the cortex of S.T.A.R Labs, of course chewing on some twizzlers. It was quiet, calm. Everyone was out doing their own thing, even Harry was no where to be found in the Lab. Cisco ate one last twizzler, reaching over and turning the cortex computers off. He stood up, a small sigh left his chest.

He had been struggling a lot, finding out he had powers, his family hounding at him to be better every time he saw them. Even though he usually brushed off what his parents said, it was really getting to him. Although Caitlin and Barry knew something had been going on with him, every time they asked what's wrong he would ignore them and walk away.

Cisco walked out of the cortex, turning the lights as the young Engineer left the Lab.

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He entered his apartment, closing the door behind him. Tossing his keys to the near table by the door. He slipped his shoes off, a soft sigh rolling off his lips. The young Engineer stood there in his apartment, the only noise to be found was the afternoon birds outside, cars, and his own breathing. He began to walk towards the kitchen, reaching down to open the fridge. The young man leaned down and grabbed himself a cold water bottle, soon to make his way to his couch. He sat down, opening his water and taking a big gulp of it. He lowered his arm, staring off at the carpeted floor.

'Will anyone miss me if I just, left?'

The young Engineer thought to himself, he shook his head in denial. It can't be that bad right? These simple small things suddenly getting blown up out of proportion.

'Why is it getting so bad?' He thought again, another sigh leaving his chest before taking another gulp of water.

'Maybe I just need to get some sleep' Cisco thought to himself, his mouth feeling like it couldn't smile, his heart ached, anxiety always rushing through his body, there was no escaping it. No matter how much he worked, how many Star Wars movies he watched. The pain wouldn't go away, it kept him awake for hours every night, not just his heart aching all the time. But unexpectedly getting these visions, it bothered him. You would think out of all people he would be the most excited about having powers, but it terrified him to his core.

Depression was taking over his mind, his body, and most certainly his heart.
He began to be anxious all the time, always fidgeting with whatever was in his hands no matter the value of the object. He felt like the world was against him, being on team Flash was fantastic. But it wasn't enough for him. He just needed to talk to someone, but he was too scared to open to anyone.

After minutes of sitting on the couch, Cisco found the strength to pull himself on his feet. Swaying a little at the sudden movement. Pain beginning to pound against his skull, he tried to ignore it as he walked to his bedroom. He set his water down on his nightstand, looking over at the bathroom that was attached to his room. He walked towards the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and the sink, setting his hands down on the sink and pushing his weight against his hands, staring at himself in the mirror. He knew the longer he kept it in the worse it would get, he was just scared, saddened about everything that was happening. He couldn't bring himself to even asking any of his close friends to help.

He managed to get out of thought, standing straight and moving a few steps towards the shower. He reached down and turned the water on, he kept the temperature quite colder than normal. Cold showers always helped his nerves calm down, and clear his mind. He began removing his graphic tee, his muscles were tense. His movements were shaky, his breath ragged, he was weak. He knew what was right, but he was still questioning on what to do at this point. Do I go to my friends? Or do I keep it to myself? Those exact thoughts ran through his head all day, he managed to get all his clothing off. He stepped into the cold water, a relief fell from his shoulders, the coldness loosened his nerves and his muscles. He stood under the shower head, letting the water run down his body. Everything seemed to be closing in on him, it felt like the walls were getting closer and closer, the end of the hallway was moving further and further.

His eyes began to burn, a knot in his throat began to form, a water substance forming in his eyes.

"I don't know what to do, anymore" Cisco spoke softly under his breath, his voice shaky, and with a hint of fear in it.

He stood there, letting the water weigh his hair down, the strength in his legs and arms were getting weaker by the second. Tears slowly running down his cheeks. "I can't do this anymore.." He pushed words out of his mouth. He turned off the water and moved the shower curtain to the side. He stepped out onto the mat, reaching for a towel. He dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist.

He walked over to the mirror again, looking at himself as water drops went down his bare skin. He never thought it would come to this, his heart pounding so hard against his chest, it even made his breath skip. More and more anxiety rushed through his veins, the thought of swallowing all the pain killers he had floated around his head, his hands were shaky, tears forming and streaming down his skin. He reached up and opened the medicine cabinet, staring blankly at the bottle of pain killers. He shook his head slightly in denial "I can't do this- I won't do this" He closed the medicine cabinet, letting out a sigh of relief that he didn't grab the bottle of pain killers.

He brought himself to getting dressed, a graphic tee and some jeans. He dried off his hair as well as he could, tossing the towel back on the towel rack. He stepped over to his bed and plopped down on his back. He pulled his phone out and texted Barry 'Hey, I need to talk to you. It's urgent, I guess' the message sent and he set his phone down beside him. Staring blankly at the ceiling, bringing himself to smile softly.

A few minutes later Barry knocks on Cisco's front door. Cisco sits up and pulls himself on his feet. He lazily walks towards the door and opens it "Hey, Barry"

"You said you needed to talk? Are you okay?" Barry asks in worry as he steps into the young Engineer's apartment. They began to talk, mainly about what problems Cisco has been having. Barry eventually took Cisco back to S.T.A.R Labs so he could talk to Cailtin about it.

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A few months after, Cisco was living life on the bright side of things. He put all of that behind him, he continued to help Team Flash. He always had a smile on his face. He never thought that asking just one person could help so much.