Two Rimmers

Chapter 1: Intruder

A warning siren echoed through the corridor, waking Rimmer and Lister up from sleep. Lister moved to the end of his bunk and looked at the screen. Kryten's rectangular features almost filled the digital display.

"Kryten, what is it man?" Lister yawned, and rubbed his eyes.

"Good Morning, Sir. Sorry to wake you but Mr. Cat has spotted a simulant pod landing in the cargo bay. They seem to be taking supplies from us."

"The smeggers. I will be right there." Lister said as Kryten ended transmission, jumping off his bunk and landing on the floor. When he reached floor level, he realised Rimmer was awake.

"Awake Rimmer?"

Rimmer nodded and sat himself up.

"Who could sleep with your noise and, that." Rimmer said, pointing to the siren.

Lister smiled, secretly worrying about Rimmer. He'd been secluding himself from them more than usual; spending time in the prison decks for some reason. He wouldn't tell them what and, from what he had heard from Kryten, he didn't know the reason himself.

Lister watched as he got up and changed, which didn't take him long.

"Lister, I'm okay. You can stop watching me."

"I wasn't..."

"Lister, I could feel you watching me with those eyes of yours, so stop it."

Lister did as Rimmer said and the two of them walked to the cargo bay.

The two of them met Kryten by the lift. As they got in, Kryten briefed them and gave each a bazookoid.

"Alright Kryten, where are they?" Lister said, charging his bazookoid.

"Near the end of the cargo bay sir. They don't realise we are here yet. Mr Cat is monitoring them still. "

"Right." Lister said,

Rimmer walked over, bazookoid in hand, "So, who's going after them then? We need a plan."

Both of them looked at Rimmer expectantly,

"No, I'm Acting Senior Officer, I can't..."

"You can. Think what a triumph it will be capturing a Prisoner?" Lister said,sarcastically.

Rimmer knew that catching a prisoner would be good for his record, and possibly, just possibly, persuade the Space Corps to make him an Officer.

"Fine, I will capture a prisoner." Rimmer replied, priming the bazookoid,

The lift reached the ground floor and Rimmer exited, leaving Kryten and Lister behind.

"There's another thing," Lister mentioned as Rimmer walked away,

"What?"

"If you die, it won't matter much. I mean, you're a hologram, you can't really feel pain can ya?" Lister laughed and the lift left the floor.

Rimmer sighed and continued to walk, knowing it was true in a sense. He was entirely composed of light; he wasn't a human being, but simply a simulation of his past self.

He'd kept something from the others these past few weeks, but wasn't sure if they had even noticed his seclusion. He didn't feel he could tell Kryten or anyone about his problems. Did anyone really notice the light man? Did they even care? In fact, had anyone really cared about him? His family, the people who were meant to teach him the right and wrong behaviour, never really cared about him when he thought about it.

As he walked into the darkness, trying to think of the officer hood prospects to make him feel better, the thoughts of whether anyone cared filled his head. He took a left towards a noise, still thinking of his ill treatment; his mother leaving him several times alone in the house as she went with other men behind his father's back. He often wondered where he came from. Whether his social father really declared him as his son or whether he was just an object for his manipulation.

As he took a right around a corner, the simulants seemed ready to leave and prepared their craft. Rimmer cocked the bazookoid and stared into the darkness; the light on the bazookoid only cutting slightly in the darkness.

"Show yourself, this is Acting Senior Officer Arnold J Rimmer..," Rimmer began.

He heard the simulants scurry, a metal drum falling to the floor. The light then showed the simulants leaving, running to the ship. One was lagging behind, putting down a crate slower than the others; struggling. Rimmer waited, watching as they ran to the ship. As the last simulant got there, but the others seemed to push them off. As it rose, they forced them off the craft, causing them to land on the floor.

'Come on, take the opportunity now.' Rimmer's inner mind said, aiming the gun at the simulant's chest; that was where the CPU unit was and should badly injure them. He fired; a hit. The simulant fell to the floor, but seemed to be groaning. The ship left, leaving the simulant behind, almost as if they meant to have left them there.

As the ship left, Rimmer walked over to the simulant he shot. It was groaning and continued to hold its chest. They opened their arms and a dark liquid was there. Blood?

'No, it's just oil from the circuits.' Rimmer thought and followed procedure; taking the simulant to the lift.

Whilst walking to the lift, the simulant spoke, its voice croaky and having no obvious gender,

"Rimmer, you say your name is? You're an officer?"

"Yes. Why?" he asked them, not being able to tell if they were male or female from voice (which troubled him),

"I will be sure to remember that." It sighed, holding their chest in pain.

Rimmer wondered why the simulant was acting very abnormally. Asking questions about the person who shot them was not a thing simulants did and wondered why they were expressing pain. They never did to the enemy, so why was this one?

When the lift reached the bridge level, Rimmer presented the Simulant by a prize; holding their arm in the air.

"One simulant." He said, smiling to himself. 'Finally, a chance for me to become an officer.'

Lister inspected the simulant closely, "I think it needs a doctor. Kryten?"

At closer inspection, Rimmer realised that the fluid coming from the simulant was indeed blood.

'Blood? How can they bleed? They're mechanical?'

"How far have they walked sir?" Kryten asked, looking at the simulants chest cavity. It was blood.

"I, I don't know. From the far wall to here." Rimmer replied, amazed how they were paying attention to the simulant; the enemy, rather than Rimmer, the supposed friend,

Kryten removed the face shield which covered the simulant's face. The faces which simulants had were of ugly complexion, as they were usually retrieved from people they had killed or burned alive. They used the faces as a warning for what would happen to others that stood in their way. To everyone's horror, an intact female human face was revealed. They were a rather young female, groaning in pain still. She wasn't ugly, in fact, not deformed at all. If she was from a dead body, it was very recent.

"Ma'am?" Kryten asked, seeming concerned to her welfare, although he questioned why.

She glanced up at Rimmer, seeming to be asking for help. He met her gaze which made a strange thought come into his head, like a memory. He seemed to recognise her. Where would he have seen her before?

"We best get her to the medibay sirs, so we can patch her up." Kryten said, leading the way.

"Yes, lets. That's what I was going to say." Rimmer smiled and lead her there, knowing the simulant wasn't impressed.