Two Rimmers

Chapter 7: Removal

It had been 4 weeks since Crystal had started her 'timetable' sessions; Lister had finally had enough.

Crystal walked in with Rimmer into the sleeping quarters; smiling and talking.

They both sat together, prepared and organised, getting out revision books and material.

"Now, what should we cover today?" Crystal said, very teacher-esque.

As they both spoke quietly with one another, Crystal teaching Rimmer and helping him, Lister remembered what the ship was like without this. He felt that Crystal was helping Rimmer to cheat, not to pass. He hated the attention she was getting; over lunch, Kryten would talk about how good Crystal was today with repairing things and Cat would want to spend more time with her than he ever did with Lister.

As the discussions went on, Lister felt more and more angered; jealous of her to the extent he wanted her gone. Whilst it had impacted well on Rimmer, he was unsure of how it had impacted on the others. After her hour with Rimmer, she would use Lister's time to discuss how the plan was working with the crew with Kryten in the driving room.. Why hadn't she spent time with him? Was he unimportant?

"Crystal." Lister interrupted,

"Yes?" Crystal asked, "It isn't your session but I will take this question."

Rimmer watched this conversation,

"Well, how long do you plan to stay here?"

"Lister..." Rimmer growled, knowing where he was going,

"Not sure why?" Crystal replied, oblivious to his suggestion,

"Well, I just thought, if your plan doesn't work, don't you think you should go?"

"Why? Everyone likes me, well, everyone besides you."

"Yeah, know why I don't like you." Lister said, jumping from his bunk,

"Lister...!"

"Why?" Crystal jumped but continued to stay brave,

"Because, because you steal everyone from me. I know its all a part of your plan to attack us. You're a simulant and you don't belong here."

"But, Cat and Kryten have expressed their feelings. They like me."

"Well, I think you should just go!"

Crystal became angry, "Why should i?! According to Rimmer, this is the most useful thing anyone has done in a long time on this ship. If you had just gotten up of that large thing called an arse maybe things could excel once in a while."

Lister noticed, whilst crystal was talking, her clenched hands were turning slightly green,

"Oh just smeg off. I'm fed up of you. Just go back to your Queen and leave us alone!"

Crystal ran off, leaving Rimmer do revise on his own.

"Was that necessary?"

"What, I expressed how I felt?"

"You're jealous because she is now the centre of attention."

"No I'm not."

"Well, from your reaction there I'd say it's obvious."

"So what if I am?"Lister admitted,

"Stop trying to make her go. It's exactly a week until my retake and she's helping me a lot better than I was alone. So, stop."

"Oh, just for your benefit is it?"

"The benefit of everyone. Kryten has said she has been a help when she's spoken to him and infact, maybe upgrading the ship."

"Eugh I can't stand this." Lister said,

"Well, Im going to tell Kryten about your comments on Crystal; she needs reviewing anyway..."Rimmer left, carrying his books with him.

After Rimmer had left, Lister turned to the bunks. He noticed something black and plastic under Rimmer's bunk; something he had noticed before but didn't have the opportunity to see what it was. As he pulled it out, he realised it was Crystal's simulant uniform. He examined it for something incriminating; her rank, a recorded message, anything. He found a small button which he assumed was a flare or something similar. He took it in his hand and thoughts of his options. Could he press it? Should he press it? Rimmer and the others seemed happy enough but, she had something against him.

He checked Rimmer was asleep and then went to the prison decks. He went to the room above where Crystal was and pushed the button. A green beam shot from the flare and went through the ship.

Lister then exited, running to the floor below and throwing the flare at Crystal. She woke up and saw the button had been activated. She hadn't seen lister and looked up at the celling.

Two simulants appeared on the ship

"Oh Crystal, my my aren't you in for a treat?!" they said sarcastically, taking her arms and transported with her.

Lister felt himself be taken too.