Two Rimmers

Chapter 5: A plan

"Are you sure this is hers?" Lister whispered,

"Yeah, I'm sure. I followed Goalpost here earlier. He was checking on her." Cat said, leaning against the door.

Kryten lagged behind, unsure, "Sir, should we really be doing this? Why can't we just ask her for a blood sample?"

"This will be the only chance we get Kryten. Crystal may disagree; she may be a simulant after all."

"Hmm."

"Get it now before she hears us." Lister commanded and the three of them walked in.

They surrounded Crystal's bed; Crystal sleeping soundly.

"Sir, I don't feel..." Kryten whispered,

"Just do it!" Lister whispered loudly.

Kryten obeyed and put a cannula into her arm. As the needle went into her, Crystal awoke suddenly, seeing the three standing in front of her. Before she could say anything, Lister chloroformed her.

"Sir!" Kryten exclaimed, shocked, "did you just...?!"

"Come on!" Lister picked Crystal up and took her to the medibay.

"You think she's a simulant?" Cat asked Lister, watching as Kryten was trying to find a syringe to extract Crystal's blood.

"Dunno but I guess the test will tell us." Lister said.

Kryten, finding a syringe, extracted some blood timidly.

"What the smeg is going on?" A voice came into the room; it was Rimmer's.

Lister and Cat turned to find Rimmer in the doorway with a torch.

"Erm," Kryten said, removing the syringe,

"Please Rimmer, we've got to do this."

"Why?" Rimmer asked, coming closer to Crystal,

"Mr Lister says it can help us determine if she is a simulant." Kryten said, unsure,

Rimmer examined her, "You chloroformed her?!" he picked up a cloth besides Crystal.

"Please, it's the only way we will know for certain if she's..." Kryten said, understanding Lister's logic,

"Give it to me." Rimmer said, noticing the sample,

"Sir..."

"I said, give it to me." Rimmer said, forcefully,

Kryten obeyed Rimmer and handed it to him, reluctantly, looking at Lister for his reaction,

"Don't be mad at Kryten, he was only..."

"Only what? Carrying out your orders? Well, I give orders here, all go back to your quarters now!" Rimmer commanded.

All three exited the room, looking at each other sadly.

"And this time lister, stay asleep." Rimmer commented as Lister exited.

Rimmer moved Crystal back to her room after removing her cannula. He examined the wound when he returned to her room and, to his surprise, there wasn't one. He decided to stay with her until she woke up from the chloroform; not wanting Cat or any of the others having a second attempt.

Crystal woke suddenly, grabbing her duvet tightly; a delayed reaction from earlier,

"Crystal?" Rimmer said, trying to make her fully awake,

"Rimmer, what...?" She asked, distressed,

"Its alright. Nothing too bad happened. You're alright now." Rimmer said, presenting the vile of blood,

"What's that? Is that mine?" Crystal asked, taking it in her hand,

"Yes. Kryten extracted it but, it was all Lister's fault."

Crystal sighed

"They, erm, wanted to see what you were apparently..."

"What I am?"

"Yes. Well, they saw that you'd healed rather quickly so,"

"If your Mech finds out I'm part hologram I'm dead."

"Why?"

"Well, Mechs are told that human/holograms are a simulant creation and should be exterminated."

"But, his programming is broken, he, he isn't like..."

"Other mechs? Oh no Rimmer this is keyed into his brain, whether it's broken or not."

"But what about me?"

"You're a complete hologram, not part hologram. He wont attack you for that."

Rimmer sighed, "Well, how can we change this? I mean, he will find out sooner or later."

Crystal sat up and glanced at her officer photo for advice, "Wait, I am an officer."

"But your sentence revokes that..."

"No, I am still an officer, just, a prison one."

Rimmer looked confused,

"I could command all of you and be back by curfew. It wouldn't be bail as I wouldn't be leaving the prison decks for too long."

" Alright. " Rimmer said, "I just hope it works."