Blood Sweat Tears and You (Yoonseok)

Part 11

Yoongi was sitting on the couch counting the seconds, it was already 4 in the morning all the members had returned and gone to bed already except one. He couldn't handle it, too many questions plagued his thoughts, but knowing the younger needed space he settled for waiting for him to return. In an attempt to stay awake he pulled out his notebook, scribbling lyrics and rhymes in an attempt to organize his thoughts.

After he'd filled a good chuck of pages with verses and poems he couldn't make sense of, the boy pulled twitter up on his phone, this situation was stressing him out and Army's sweet and sometimes comical comments never failed to make him smile. And of course, a small smile found its way on his lips as he read through the tweets, but faded instantly when he saw the trending tag. Suddenly everything fell into place and Yoongi couldn't stop the guilt, anger, and fear from taking control of his heart. Even through the soft sounds of summer lulling him to sleep he thought long and hard about what to say to the younger and how to say it. It wasn't until 4:27 a.m. that the door quietly opened.

Hoseok immediately froze once he saw the older, the sight was similar to the previous one. Covered head to toe in sweat, tired red eyes and bruised legs. It looked as if he just came from a street fight and barely made it out alive.

"I thought I told you not to wait." He spoke softly with a tired sense of guilt.

Yoongi jumped from the couch and stood in front of the younger, gently grabbing ahold of his arms to stop him from leaving again. Worry and a hint of something he couldn't name poured from his eyes as he carefully spoke, "How long has it been trending?" Hoseoks eyes widened in realization with a hint of fear as he tried to play cool, "What are you talking about..." But Yoongi just stood there, waiting for the younger to answer him. He closed his eyes, "If it's what I think it is...it's been a popular tag for awhile now..." His voice began to waver, "But I guess it's trending now huh..."

Yoongi wasn't thinking when he reached up to kiss the boys' forehead and cupped his cheeks in his hands as the words poured out, "Hoseok don't tell me you believed what their saying? You deserve to be here just as much as any of us if not more, they're blind if they can't see that you're a fucking visual, you sing and rap like an angel, and you're not our dance leader for no reason. If they don't like you then they don't like Bangtan."

They stood there, Hoseok motionless with averted eyes as Yoongi pouring everything he could into every word. After a moment, Yoongi pulled a numb Hoseok toward the bathroom, "Clean up a bit, I'll be right back." He spoke before disappearing to the youngers room, grabbing a pair of comfortable clothes for him to change into and finding a sleeping Jin on Hoseoks bed. Yoongi chuckled despite the situation, he must have wanted to stay the with younger members, he thought. The rapper was thankful though, bringing the change of clothes to the younger he helped tend to his bruised legs in silence.

Once done Yoongi led the boy toward his room, "Jin hyung-" Hoseok started softly but Yoongi interrupted whispering, "He slept in your bed tonight, here hop in." pulling the covers back and motioning for the younger, who obliged willingly. After turning off the lights Yoongi joined him under the shared covers in the dimly moon lit room. Nestling himself close but not to close to Hoseok he debated letting the younger sleep or saying something. But his mouth started moving on it's own, "Why didn't you tell anyone?" He was met with silence, Hoseoks eyes concentrated on the ceiling as the moonlight danced in their reflection. He tried again, "Why are you pretending that everything's fine when it's clear as day not..." A moment passed as Yoongi thought of what to say, "It's ok to be sad...it's ok to cry, things change but I'll always be here Hoseok."

The younger boys watery eyes met Yoongis, "Yoongi I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." Hoseok started, eyes watering he looked away again as the older suppressed the urge to hold the younger, "I didn't want to drag anyone else into this mess..." he chuckled sadly, "J-Hope isn't supposed to be like this...J-Hope is part of Bangtan, J-Hope should be Army's hope...a bulletproof boy but Hoseok...Hoseok isn't..."

"Hoseok isn't bulletproof." Yoongi finished in a soft, sad voice. Giving into the urge he wrapped his arms around the younger, Hoseoks hands formed fists in the olders shirt.

"Hyung I look like a horse...I thought it was funny at first but people really think that...why the hell did I think I could become an idol and stand next to you and everyone else?" Yoongi was shocked, before he could speak Hoseok continued, "And I know I get over excited when we're all together especially when there's cameras...I know that and I know I can be annoying and sometimes stupid but I just want to make our fans smile...I just want to make you all laugh...but I'm so annoying hyung why am I like this..."

Yoongi felt the youngers hot tears puddle on his chest, he was speechless. He had no idea that the boy who put the freaking sun in the sky every morning felt like this. For weeks he saved the older from falling apart while he himself was breaking, "I miss them...I miss my family especially my mom. I miss them so much and I tried writing a song about her...for her. She gave up so much for me Hyung and I can't work on the song without drowning in so much guilt...she worked so hard for me and I can't ever repay her. And I miss my dad and sister...I'm trying to put all these things into the intro dance and my song. But I just end up hurting more..." Hoseoks arms wrapped around Yoongis figure as his body struggled not to sob. Yoongi's mind was blank, he was desperate to take away the pain of the younger but had no thought as to how.

They stayed like that for a good while, Hoseok pouring out everything he's been holding on to alone, and Yoongi silently listing and comforting the younger. It wasn't until Hoseok calmed and his breath steadied that the older asked in a low voice "What where those pills last night Seok?" the younger sighed before answering "I'm not really sure myself...I ran into someone that night who basically said I looked like shit and gave me some meds. He left before I could ask him his name or what they where, I was just looking at them that night I promise I wasn't going to take them. At least I don't think I was, and then you came."

Yoongi felt a sense of relief as he sighed, "Thank God...thank God Hoseok thank you." the younger was confused as he mumbled, "For what?" Slightly separating the two Yoongi moved so that he could fully look into the youngers eyes, "For not doing anything stupid." He paused a moment gently caressing the youngers cheek before continuing, "For being my hope."

The youngers eyes widened as if he was seeing the other for the first time, "Hyung..." the older pulled Hoseok close to him again as he spoke in a low determined voice, "I'm going to help you, Seok I'm going to help you love yourself. I'm not sure how but we will. We'll do it together."

Hoseoks grip on the older tightened as he whispered, "Thank you hyung..." the younger chuckled freely, like a weight had been lifted as he smiled into the olders chest, "What did I do to deserve a hyung like you?" The older chuckled as well, burying his face in the youngers brown locks, "I'm still trying to figure that out."