A MESS.

How it all ends

"At one point it gets too much you know? Your mind goes into war with your heart and your soul is the one suffering most. The pain just gets too much that at one point, you're left with a soulless body, lost and claiming to be dead. The pain gets so much that the end of everyday feels like pieces of you have been chipped off and you can't recognize yourself anymore.

You look in the mirror and feel as if you're foreigner, a forgotten soul in a foreign body. You can't recognize this person in front of you anymore. You're frustrated but you're tired too. This has been going on for the longest time and it just feels like death is playing its own game with you, waiting for you to brust. You question yourself if it's worth it, but you get no replies. You question yourself if you're okay, you still get no replies. Your soul is too scared to speak, to feel. You don't have it in you to leave him, you just don't. So you hang on there, painfully waiting for something, anything to happen. But nothing does.

One Saturday night, it just hits you, he's gone. He's been long gone and you didn't notice. How could you not have noticed? You were so caught up with what's inside, you didn't look up to see if he was still there in the first place. You feel every muscle in your body ache, scream in agony. You feel cold, hot, tired, mad, sad, happy and everything in between. You reach over to your phone, check your last message, it was sent two weeks ago. You press your shaking thumbs against the screen and type "I hate you" although you don't mean it. You would never mean it. Not in a million years. If anything it's yourself that you hate, it's you who drove yourself into oblivion. You let out an agonizing scream and slam your phone on the floor, shattering it. You're drunk on adrenaline, high on madness and low on the will to live. Without a second thought you walk towards the window, open it, and jump."