You know the movie, InsideOut right? All those little fucking emotions....... and you know how joy runs it all. Well that's like me, expect I feel 5 distinct emotions. Anger, Sadness, Emptiness, and the most prominent ones, Fear and Loneliness. No one fucking loves me, so why even try to feel anything different. There's no point. In me............. in my life........... of my even existence. I'm always scared of no one caring. No one listening to me. No one hearing me out. Do I even matter? You might be like, "Yes you do matter to me, to someone"
And I will answer that with these words
No
One
Cares
About
Me
I don't matter to anyone. Whenever I think I do, reality backhands me with its bloody brass knuckles. I can't ever do anything right. I can't ever better anybody or anything. I don't know why I'm still alive honestly.......... I should have ended it years ago................... before life wanted to be a bitch. Before life was hard. Before I started to self doubt. Before I could ever think that death was the only way out of this ocean of depression. I don't know why. I don't know why I haven't ended it yet.
Don't say you love me........ don't say you care about me............ don't bullshit me............ don't ever bullshit me............ don't tell me that I mean anything to anybody.................... because I don't...................
End of Discussion.................... I'm a lost cause anyways
