DUA - Kumpulan Cerita Pendek

2017 (01) - (im)perfections

I had been constantly asking myself about how fucked up this world was. A woman was crying over her husband's penalty as he was accused for blasphemy on television. I had no clue, no feeling, nothing. What had left was just  the comments I read minutes after around the internet. Some called that woman's tears was a drama. She was named as the new drama queen. Some even comparing her tears with other things that were completely incomparable. 

The woman's husband used to be a governor of a city which was - again - so fucked up since the very beginning. People build their home for free in government's  land and at the time the governor tried to take back the city's assets, they were sulking and hushed hushed the issue. I knew how fucked up the situation was because I am myself learned things about policy and I was so sure no one was harmed. They received the compensations, something called city flats. Yeah, tears were there because all old memories would be vanished - obviously. 

I poured my tea into my favorite tiny tea cup. I could smell its soothing aroma. Right after I finished pouring the tea, a voiced was heard, "What was that, Zeze?" I recognized that it was my boyfriend's voice. His dark deep bass timbre was very unique. "I asked you what was that thing you watched on tv before you became as depressed as now?"

"Some news about bomb, terrorists, and a blasphemy," I replied while walking down to the living room. He brought his own cup and followed me. 

Then again he tried to dig a more comprehensive answer. "They were normal news. There must be a specific reason you left the television turn on because I remember you always nagging at me if I didn't turn it off when leaving it. What was that?"

I couldn't lie to him. Never. "I don't know if it was just me, but I am so full of questions right now. You might see the news as normal but not me. At least not right now when so many things happened in a frame right in front of my eyes."

"You questioned things?"

I looked at him. He asked me that? For real?! His dark black eyes say it all along. He was surprised. "Why are you so surprised?"

"It's been a long time since you questioned things. This is interesting. Now spill it," he moved closer to me. I changed my position to be more comfortable. I laid down on his thigh. He shortly took care of my messy hair. 

He was my hero, especially in this kind of situation. "I turned myself into a fool- you know? Tried hard to be a stupid person, tried hard not hearing, seeing, or speaking things people refused to understand. Until very suddenly, I thought about how fucked up we are, me - to be exact."

His face changed. "In what terms you think you are fucked up? Fuck is not an appropriate word to describe you, in any terms."

"Can you be serious?" I rolled my eyes and he laughed. 

"Okay, so?"

"So, I asked myself, again and again. I asked about the reason I was born in this city, in this country. I asked about the reason people wanted to kill themselves in a bomb. I asked about the reason I was breathing while others not. I asked about peaceful, if God ever wanted us to be at peace then why he allowed terrorist to grow and keep terrorizing? I asked about Pareto efficiency, why can't we make everybody happy? I asked about opportunity, why can't we have all opportunities and not sacrifice others to get another. I asked why God is one but there are so many religions? I asked about why people was born as the most intelligent livings and rule the world but at the same time killing each other - cursing each other - and else? Just why are we human so fucked up but God keep creating us through reproductions system? They were quite a lot questions, weren't they?"

He laughed with his witty deep voice. "I don't even have a single answer. Is it just because of news on television?"

"I don't know," I replied then holding on of fingers. He brought my right hand into him. Our hands were holding each other tightly. "Your hand is cold," I threw an insignificant comment.

He touched my forehead with his free hand. I closed my eyes and listening to what he was going to say. "Zeze, nothing is perfect. Complete peaceful is a perfect condition. Having no choice as you can have them all is a perfect condition. Living without diversity and its problem is a perfect condition. We are not perfect, neither this world is. I have not ever met mr God yet but I believe only him is perfect. You can trace his perfection in our imperfection. We are not fucked up. We are just imperfect. The world is imperfect. We deal with our imperfection so that we can longing for perfection."

"You are so smart..." I smiled. 

He kissed my forehead. "Don't blame the world and its people for being imperfect, Zeze. Remember that our imperfections are there to make us understand what perfection is. Don't dare to question this again, would you? I missed this side of you."

For what he said, I just kept in silence. Maybe someone was in jail right now, maybe someone was mocking others at the moment, maybe someone passed away or in comatose at that time I was talking to myself. Yeah, maybe my boyfriend was right. This is just an imperfection. Things for me learn about the word called perfections. 

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2017, first short story (in english) 

OH GOSH HAHAHAHAHAHA

anyway, keep save and take a good care everyone **