H E A T H E N S {ON HOLD}

Chapter 19

"I know your not ready, but you really need to calm the beast down." Dylan pleaded pushed me into Blakes house. There was a storm coming, I watched as the clouded sky's became darker and darker.

"Why what happened?" I asked scared shitless. The clouds rumbled loudly making me jump little.

"Let's just say, he feels guilty and angry" He winced and I sighed and walked inside. Dylan sighed and went to his car and drove off.

Well then.

Feeling a betrayed, I turned around and walked inside.

BANG!

Blake broke something upstairs.
I sat down on the sofa. And soon, Blake tumbled downstairs shocked.

He saw how quiet I was and just sat down, the furthest away from me, as if he was scared.

"Jamie, I had to be with her because-" I stopped him, feeling a rush of emotions. He shuffled his shoes a little.

"It's okay, I understand" I whispered he looked shocked. He gulped and opened his mouth.

"And your okay with that?" He asked cautiously. I only nodded.

She's skinner, she's funnier, she's prettier.

"Don't worry." I said, my voice shook. I looked down quickly and sighed sadly. I eyed my clothing and stomach in distaste.

I wouldn't choose me either.

"I hate myself for doing this to you." He shouted feeling angry. I jumped but became silent.

All of a sudden the house shook and suddenly the windows shut down and doors became locked. I looked around in shock and grabbed Blake.

"What happened?" I panicked. Blake sighed and shuffled.

"Were stuck now, the storm set my house on alarm." I wiped towards him confused. He saw my expression and sighed.

"It means we are locked in, muffin." I groaned and sat down. It was quiet for some time. Then he pushed my head on his lap.

Sparks flew and just when I was about to shove his head off.

"Please, just this once." He whispered desperately. I only nodded.

We just were there for hours, He played with my hair. No one said a thing. I wanted to leave, but we can't.

"So...tell me a story." I only said awkwardly, my voice raw and vulnerable. I winced and gulped.

"Why?" He asked stupidly. Little did he know, that him playing with my hair relieved my pain a little. I stupidly enjoyed the moments of bliss.

"Because I'm worn out. And sick and tired of always being down." I whispered and closed my eyes. Words flew out of my mouth, meaningless.

"Oh" He said and gulped.

I lied, my thoughts are destroying me. I tried not to think, but the silence was a killer too..

"There was a kid, he did have a good childhood. You could say, everyone loved him." He winked at me.

"But then." He sighed and gulped.

"Then he was sent to war. And it-the death. The smell of death was in the air. Every time you close your eyes you see the lifeless eyes staring back at you. He was no longer that perfect kid, he was no longer loved by everyone. He was at war for so long, that everyone started to forget. He because lost in the memories. When he came back, no one recognized him, nor said anything. He was to step up, and became a leader. It was the only way to save his people. So he did what he had to do, what had to be done. He saved them. But he lost himself in the process." Blakes eyes were glazed as if living a memory, but he blinked suddenly. And coughed. Looking down at me. My eyes were closing and I was in the brick between dosing off.

"And that kid is still grieving. Grief is only just love. It is the love you want to give, but cannot. Grief is just love with no place to go. Unable to move forth, I'm still held captive. I'm sorry, Jamie. I'm so fucking sorry."

I dosed off after a couple of moments. I felt a drop of a tear on my face. He shifted and I felt sparks on my forehead.

"I never meant for any of this to happen."

_-_

"Pizza?" Blake offered me a slice, and i shook my head. If i eat anything, ill throw it back out. He heated up leftover pizza, and we were having dinner.

"Just have a slice" He gave me a plate, which i just set down and didn't really do anything to it. He growled a little, and had a look of determination in his eyes.

"I'm not hungry" I said, but i was. However i was too scared to vomit it back out, so whats the point?

"I'll feed you." He said and he took out a fork and knife and cut a piece out. I looked at him with disbelief.

"Your using a fork and knife?" I asked dumbfounded. He looked confused.

"What do you mean?" He asked whilst shoving a piece in my mouth. I chewed it slowly. He grinned and cut one from his plate and shoved it in his mouth.

"Your supposed to carry it like this" I showed him how to properly eat a pizza. Never in my life would i think he wouldn't know that.

"No, Jamie. That's improper." He announced and shoved another piece in my mouth.

"Have you ever went grocery shopping?" I asked siting up.

"No"

"Shopping for clothes?"

"No"

"Ice Skating? Bowling? Hide and go fucking seek?" I asked shocked to my core.

"No, no and the last one sounds like Hide and go mate." He winked at me. I gaped at him.

"Yo, Jamie?" I hummed and chewed on my pizza.

"Your beautiful when you think you know how to eat pizza." He said and i looked down. A blush rapidly grew on my face. The doors opened and the shields on the windows opened.

"Thanks" I murmured looking away, no one ever said that to me. Then i remembered what he said.

"Hey!"