Gumlee Short Stories

What a wimp

Marshall Lee was a tough guy. He didn't take shit from anybody. He was the son of a demon, who would try to anyway?

He floated through his forest, listening to all the forest creatures bustle around. He was already pissed off and their noise wasn't helping anything. It also didn't help that his supersonic hearing made everything ten times louder.

It wasn't just bustling he heard. He paused mid-air and listened closer, trying to locate where the soft sound was coming from. It was muffled and shaky, high-pitched too. He furrowed his eyebrows and floated toward the sound.

As Marshall got closer, it got louder. It was the sound of someone crying. A little boy to be exact. He was clad in pink, royal-looking attire. He looked like a loser. The vampire stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Hey," Marshall called out in a loud voice, stopping in front of the boy. The crybaby's breath hitched and his head of pink hair shot up, eyes teary and wide with fear. "What the fuck are you crying about?"

The little boy blinked. "I-I... I-"

"Spit it out!"

"I-! My b-bestest friend Fionna made fun of me and called me mean names! In front of my crush too!" Marshall resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"'Bestest' isn't a word. How old are you? Like three or something? Get over it."

The boy sniffled. "I'm six!" He yelled defensively.

"Oh! My mistake! Boy, how stupid of me."

"You're mean!" He yelled, sniffling more.

"Yeah, and you're fucking dumb." Marshall's feet landed on the forest floor and walked over to the boy, picking him up and holding him out in front of him. Before the whiny boy could say anything else, Marshall fucking drop-kicked his ass. As he went flying into the air, Marshall scoffed.

"What a wimp."

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THIS IS A JOKE.