Raison D'être

4øųř

"Share Sasuke! Tell em what you did. Or i will!" Gaara yells

"Fuck off."

Naruto grabs my shirt, "tell me."

"I-I cant." I lower my head

"He cheated on you. He cheated on you with his ex after accusing you of cheating. He accused you while you were going to propose to him, and he cheated in your own home." Kurama says in one breath

I could hear his heart break as he broke eye contact with me, "I..." he leaned against the wall, "I...air..."

His knees began to give out as he fell to the floor, "sasuke where are you." He says as his passes out

"Nurse!" The doctor calls, "bring and iv and get the bed ready."

"Tch." Gaara clicks his tongue and leaves the room.

I felt a different type of pain, maybe this was embarrassment. Why is it that every time he gets hurt its my fault. Why did i bring him so much pain? Why i dont get why.

"Sir, im going to have to ask you to leave." The doctor says as he begins to hook up medical equipment and stick needles in Narutos arm.

"That was a new type of low... even for you." i snap at Kurama as i storm out of the hospital. I sit in my car for a minute, laying my head against the steering wheel. "FUUUUCCCKK!" I yell as i smash the horn. I sat for a minute, Naruto would know how to calm me down....

---

Hours turned to days, and days to weeks. I still hadn't seen Naruto. Apparently him seeing me could cause some type of heart spike and kill him... but i knew he just didn't want to see me. My heart ached thinking about it. What to do, what to say.

RING RING RING RING

I glanced over at my phone, do i really want to answer this? "hello?"

"Sasuke, get to the hospital now." Narutos voice rang through my ears as the line went dead. 

Like a puppet, i had ran to my car and sped off to the hospital. He still had me wrapped around his finger even though he couldn't remember who i was.

I ran into the doors, nervously taking the elevator to his room. What could he want to see me for. I can imagine it now, those cold blue eyes yelling at me, screaming how much they wanted to remember me so they could hate me properly.

I opened the door to his room and an empty cup lay on his bed with a folded piece of paper that said 'On the roof -Naruto' so i followed the stairs up til i got to a door, opening it and letting my eyes adjust to the light. A few raindrops hit my face before it began to pour. 

"Naru-

"Man i hate the rain." he whined as he lit a cigarette "They always make me feel so.... so damn sad."

Hearing his voice, my eyes immediately shot to the edge of the roof. He had said the exact same thing before asking me

"I wonder if i were to jump now, would i die?" He leaned over a bit, and looked at me over his shoulder. I wonder what kind of face im making, because im terrified and i can feel the tears building up.

"whats today?" i ask, smiling a bit, realizing he was reenacting that day.

'hmm... Dunno" he climbs up on the railings and my heart begins to race, "seems pretty far down to me."

"I-If thats what you want to do- then do it." I couldn't say that as carefree as i had said it that day, because for all i know he may jump

'Its the 22nd" he drops the cigarette off the roof and frowns, "may 22nd."

Except he didn't climb back onto the roof and slam the door like he did that day. I hope he would. I prayed he would. 

"Sasuke, ya know, this really hurts." he covers his face with his hand and begins to cry, " I want to hate you so bad, i want to ignore you til you die in a hole. But every night when i close my eyes, i image you here in this bed with me, and i can rest easy, but i jump out of my sleep when i realize your not here!" 

The way he leaned his weight forward, like he was going to jump scared the hell out of me. The way he cried in front  of me like he remembered me scared me. "I cant seem to forget you, its like my body forgot every thing, but it cant remember to forget my feelings for you." he turns around and cries some more.

His body leans back farther. 

I take a step closer.

"Hey did you really love me?" he asks as he takes a step back

I step forward, there's only centimeters left of building, and feet between us.

"say, if i jump, would you miss me? i believed we could be happy, thats we could have our own happily ever after." he cries even harder. The rain seems to mimic him and its a down pour

I use my arm to shield the rain, its pushing me, but Naruto feet are firm. He wont move unless he wants to. 

I walked forward as he closes his eyes.

"Sasuke, give me something to believe, ive been living just to breathe."

He smiles that smile that made my heart melt, and open his eyes to show his broken blue pride. Revealing the misplaced guilt, and attempts to repair himself only to be broken down again. 

He leaned back, and i jump forward, missing his hand by inch, I jumped over the rail, grabbing him before we fell. He gently smiled before grabbing me back, and everything was warm after that.

That day, I blame everything I did on the rain.