Hey guys. Another! Finishing today! Thanks KenoshaChick! In Edwards POV!
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Eleven months after Nessie left.
The last few months had been slow and painfully routine. None of us did anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes, it reminded me of the time I less-than-affectionately referred to as "before" - that period of time when I had nothing worth living, dying, surviving, or even existing for.
We studied and read mostly, or went for walks or drives to the ocean -all things Bella and I enjoyed. However, it was all beginning to feel too normal. It was normal for us not to see our daughter, it was normal not to talk to her, not to see her sleeping in her bed, not to hear her charming laughter.
The first time I witnessed Jacob's reenactment of his argument with Nessie, the very last words she said to any of us before she left, I laughed. I laughed. The Nessie in Jacob's mind looked so irritated and angry at Jacob I couldn't help chuckling at her pursed lips and pinched forehead. She hadn't a tantrum like that since she was a baby. I didn't even think much of how upset Jacob was, thinking it was part of the imprinting. Nessie may have been annoyed with us at the time and she may have been fascinated with Ántonia, but she was smart and thoughtful and she knew the dangers that surrounded her existence, therefore we trusted her.
Leave? She wouldn't leave.
She wasn't there when we got back to the cottage, but we wanted to give her time to cool off. An hour passed. Then another hour. We went out with Jacob to find her and then we realized...she was gone.
Bella reacted as violently as I would have if I'd had the opportunity. I had to keep calm for her sake and for Nessie's. Even while dealing with Bella, I went through things over and over again in my mind, attempting to find what I had missed, especially in those days after Ántonia showed up at our door. So far, I'd only reinforced what I already knew. Nessie had always been a curious child, eager to learn and excited by new discoveries. We knew she loved us and she knew we loved her. That's what I'd always heard in her mind, that's what Jasper felt, and it was what Bella knew.
This was where I had failed. I had put so much faith in my sibling's abilities and my own to predict things and see things, I had failed to develop an intuitive connection with my own daughter. I listened to her thoughts, but I did not hear her. I didn't believe that she could have a thought contrary to Bella's or my own. One cannot find what one does not look for. What kind of delusion had I created?
I sat at the piano with my hands on my lap - a familiar and comfortable pose. I did this often as I waited for inspiration to come, but I did not expect anything to happen today. Nessie had taken to the piano as well as I had and it gave me immense pride to watch her play. It gave me even greater pride to watch her mind as she played. When she performed pieces she knew by heart, she no longer had to think of the sheet music as her fingers utilized muscle memory to play the song. Yet simultaneously, as her fingers moved, her mind would create the most detailed and fluid images that coincided with the feel of the music. When she played Bach, she created imagery of rolling, grassy hills. When she played Beethoven, the pictures were dark and usually incorporated a night sky or a lightning storm. Chopin brought forth flowers - hundreds, thousands of flowers of every color and variety. Joplin was always dancers from some impressionistic painting. Once, I think I saw Bella amongst the dancers. If only she knew her mother's former lack of grace. For some reason, pieces by Rachmaninoff were more abstract and the most difficult to follow. It was as if every thought were an unfinished charcoal sketch being ripped apart and thrown away before it was completed.
