Hey bro :D
As I promised, here’s another upload of “Call Us Crazy”. The first is a nice and fresh conversation I’m having at this very moment in time over Facebook, with my midget man, Tasha. At first, she was being her usual annoying self, until I threatened to physically hurt her.
I know, I’m so nice. Don’t all clamber at once to be my buddy;)
Enough of my sugar induced ramblings, here’s the bit you might want to pay attention to; that is, if you want to attract the rabid dwarf that is Tasha. I’m actually surprised she answered quite normally; she’s usually a complete nob when it comes to this sort of stuff. Her answers are short, so it’s not much man, but I’ll think of some other shit to tell you when I’ve done. Onto the good bit (I was going to say “Juicy bits” but if any of you are remotely dirty minded, I’m sure you see why I didn’t.)…
Chloe: What would your ideal guy be? Would he have to be a pedo, and be 20 odd years older than you, like most girls want?
Tasha: No, he is not a pedo.
(This leads me to think she actually likes someone. Hmm…THAT BITCH WILL CONFESS ALL TOMORROW, IF IT’S THE LAST THING I HEAR)
Tasha: He’s sweet. Charming. A cheeky but heart melting smile.
Chloe: Aw, cute…
Tasha: NOT AS CUTE AS YOUR FACE, GINGER
Chloe: Cheers midget man. Anything else your Prince Charming has to be?
Tasha: Errmmmmm. Perfect hair that the guy always hates, but it always seems to be cute.
Chloe: You fussy? Blonde/Brunette/Ginge ‘ed?
Tasha: Ermmmmmmmmmmmm. What is this, 20Q or something?
Chloe: Soz beef, don’t shoot. I was just asking. Seems like the midget likes a guyyyyy;D
Tasha: Fuck you, and your mother.
(Tasha then proceeds to quote the most depressing song ever, word for word)
Chloe: Some ones getting moody about a guy. Or is it that time of the month?
This was swiftly followed by, “Fuck you”’, “Stupid ginger”, “Go die hoe”, “I’ll fucking kick you so it can never be “That time of the month” for you again”, and numerous threats upon my future children. She’s so friendly man. I quickly left, as it seems I just made my friend angry and depressed; I’ll just have to throw something hard at her tomorrow or something to cheer her mopey arse up… YEAH BITCHEZ, WHO’S TO SAY IM NEVER NICE, HUH?
QUOTES OF THE DAY
This is a feature where I just put random quotes from us girlies, from today, as we didn’t see much of each other to have a proper talk, and we are not usually funny and interesting all the way through conversations anyway; I know, hard to believe, right?
Chloe: OH MY GOD, TASHA HAS NO PANTS ON. DON’T LOOK. *Everybody looks for Tasha, who is trying to slip on some pants under her skirt. Cue laughter from onlookers. Tasha falls. Tasha attacks me. I now have a bruised arm; Yay*
Chloe S: Why do you never see buses at the parked at the front of houses? Doesn’t the bus driver keep them at his house?
Chloe: What sort of job do you want? Hannah: I don’t know. An electrician? Wait, I don’t know what they do. Is it something to do with water?
Grace: CHLOE, HEY CHLOE! Don’t you just think moobs are fit? Guys with moobs are just... ugh. Do they wear bras? Let’s ask. HEY MATHEW, DO YOU NEED A BRA? I HAVE SOME GOING IF YOU LIKE? YOU LOOK THE SAME SIZE AS ME. CAN I FEEL THEM?
Chloe S: It was Friday the 13th the other day. I was disappointed, cause if it was on the weekend, I could have stayed at home.
Tasha: HEY DUDE, YOUR COCKS WONKY. Shit, I MEANT CLOCK, YOUR CLOCKS WONKY, GOD DAMMIT.
Hannah: Do you think it’d be awkward to get a boner in front of a group of people?
Chloe S: If I fall asleep, get me some of those things to keep my eyes open with. You know, them, them... them teeth pickers! Tash: You mean tooth picks?
Tash: My fish are pregnant already! I don’t know how it happened. Chloe S: Well, it happens when a male fish sticks his dic- Chloe: DON’T THINK SHE MEANT IT THAT WAY.
Hannah: In a few years, I want a tattoo on my hand, saying YOLO. Chloe S: Should I get Rolo on mine? Chloe: And I’ll get Polo!
Chloe: (Playing tennis. Before anyone says anything, I only realised about 20 minutes later what I’d really said) ALRIGHT TEAM. WHO’S ANY GOOD AT CATCHING BALLS? NOBODY HERE HAS GOOD BALL-CUPPING HANDS? TASHA, YOUR HANDS ARE TOO SMALL FOR THE BALLS, THEY’D FALL OUT. GOD, YOU GIRLS HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING QUICK AND NIMBLE WITH BALLS.
Chloe S: I can’t help how I talk! I was just born this way. Chloe/Grace: OOH THERE AINT NO OTHER WAY, BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY. RIGHT TRACK BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY. Chloe S: Sorry, what? Tasha: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? WOULD YOU STAND UP AND WALK OUT ON ME? Chloe S: Shut up, I was talking! Chloe: STOP TALKING THAT BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. THINK YOU’LL BE GETTING THIS? NAH, NAH, NAH. Chloe S: I don’t want you, freak. Tash/Chloe: I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, BUT THAT’S CRAZY. I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, BUT THAT’S NOT ME. *Chloe S storms off* Chloe/Tash/Tasha/Grace: PLEASE, PLEASE, DON’T LEAVE ME. I’LL ALWAYS SAY HOW I DON’T NEED YOU BUT ITS ALWA- Chloe S: SHUT THE FUCK UP *Flips the bird* Chloe: SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKING! (After receiving violent threat/looks/gestures from the other Chloe, I shut my gob)
That’s all for now man, hope you enjoyed it. If you didn’t, leave us a comment, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can be arsed. Hope you're all cheery now, with unicorns, love hearts and shit filling your heads; hopefully I made you smile, at least once?
Thanks bro, now I want to watch Mean Girls.
Nice wig Janice, whats it made of? YOUR MOMS CHEST HAIR.
UsOurselvesAndWe
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Call Us Crazy
Non-FictionSo this is going to be the first book we write on here, and it's all about how a group of six, average, slightly insane girls talk and interact with others. Use the information you get from us however you want, as long as we won't get arrested or an...
