My Gangster Prince

THE AWKWARDNESS & SUSPENSION

8

“Hey man, there's always something I wanted to ask you. Do you by any chance... happen to like men?” I asked in shame.

“No I do not like men. Do you?” Chris returned.

“Yes, actually. It's something I'm still really afraid to expose to people... And to be honest with you, I think I have fallen in love with you.” I responded.

Chris gave a blank face, and I could tell at that point of time that thousands of questions just ran through his whole body. There was not at all a single reaction made by him.

“I have a girlfriend, bro.” Chris signaled the message of hurtfulness that managed to cut my heart open and sprinkle salt onto the wound.

If I could describe how I was feeling right there, I would. But there is just no absolute way that I could pen my feelings down, as it was even stronger than the average Korean drama. It was all awkward and painful at the same time, and I just did not know how to react at all.

“I'm really sorry that I have been doing this, but I just cannot stop. You've just managed to steal my heart deeply, without even returning it back. I'm really sorry about this.” I uttered, and just ran away from him.

CHRIS' POV:

I know I am straight, but did I just enjoy the feeling of being confessed to? By a GUY? I mean I can understand how I feel like this if it was a girl confessing to me, but it was a guy that did it. Him confessing to me was like playing video games for the first time, so fun and magical. But yet I should prefer watching television, which was being with my girlfriend. I have never had a single thought or feeling about homosexuals, but I do not despise them a single bit. My girlfriend, Rei, and I have been together for quite a long amount of time, and I really treasure every single bit of time I spend with her. She is literally my everything.

But why is this feeling so special? The feeling of a homosexual confessing to me and that I actually enjoyed it? I could feel that every single bit of his confession was definitely 100% real, and that he had lots of thorns and tears in his heart just because of the five word reply that I gave him. I absolutely can feel his infatuation for me and how I captured his heart, but I just do not know why I can feel him so well. 

Is it me or did I feel the same way too? My heart just tore up and there is no absolute reason for it to do so. I do not have feelings for him at all. Or do I? That definitely solves all the queries I have of the feelings for him, but how could that be true? I just know that I love Rei, and she is the only one I love. But now that he came in, everything just changed. I no longer had any confidence to say to myself that I will be faithful to Rei, or even that I am definitely straight. I am not even sure about my own identity. It feels like he is more important to me at that point.