caim , book 2 // (( yuzuru hanyu × OC ))

第一

i remembered when you first entered my house , you got so confused.

you didnt understand anything , you didnt see anything you knew.

your head was just one big blank.

i wished so badly that i could find a cure for your memory

but so far all i knew was that you had only forgotten memories if you had recovered some.

and i wished so badly that i would be able to know those memories but i didnt want to invade your privacy.

hey makoto , did you know how i felt about you ? i dont think you ever knew. but then again , i wasnt about to tell you.

i wish i could explain to you why i even pecked evgenia on the nose , but then you probably didnt even remember at all.

but through your notes , i knew that you were extremely heartbroken. and i apologise. because i didnt mean to hurt you. it wasnt my fault that you and evgenia looked so similar.

to the point that i though she was you.

and i was so elated i just had to do what i used to do.

im sorry something meant for you would shatter your heart.

but i cant really say if i love you as much as you do to me because im afraid things will happen again.

yes i sound like such a huge coward but , what could i do.

you almost died on the ice right there.

do you know how traumatising it is to see your loved one sprawled over the ice with her partner not knowing what to do either ?

and talking about kei.

how come hes closer to you now , and not me ?

now im not jealous , im just asking why is this happening.

you dont hate me right ?

because if you did , i honestly wouldnt know what to do. i mean , we were best friends back then so what have we become now ?

what have i become now ?

more importantly , who were you anymore ?

i couldnt tell who you were.

you used to hop into my house and holler at my mother as if she was yours. in fact you even used to call her mom , and she used to ask you when you would get married to me if you kept calling her mom.

i used to get horribly embarrassed but i dont think i am anymore. especially not after i know how fast a life can be taken away from me.

i wish i could rewind time and find out everything that happened to you.

i wish i could rewind tome and question you more when i saw you being attacked.