16 Candles

"It Hurt Didn't It?"

It was about eleven that night when the idea of camping outside was suggested. TwoBit had been drinking his usual tons of beer, Dally getting unusually hammered. It worried Ponyboy because Dally didn’t drink this much, he would stay pretty clear headed because just as Johnny liked the quiet so he could hear someone sneak up on him, Dally liked being sober enough for a fight. In fact, he had a rule taht he would limit himself to two or three beers. That was the perfect balance of being drunk enough to take punches easier but still being able to land them. However, tonight there was about 5 bottles on the ground by Dally’s feet. He was sitting on the ground, around the fire and swaying a bit as he watched the flames. Pony kept his eyes on Dallas.

What he had done earlier was just so odd and it threw Pony off. He never thought he would do such a thing, like dress him and try to be so close. Pony didn’t understand it. It wasn’t fair. He could come up and be so vague yet so obvious, mess with his teen’s head and get him dizzy then walk away. But to be fair, Pony was the one who walked away this time. Not that there were many times, but this time. Ponyboy just ran away after Dallas said to wait. All he said was “Wait, Pony” and it set him off.

Ponyboy sighs now. He feels so mixed up inside. Ever since he turned 16, things have been going all sorts of ways. It freaked him out. Soda wasn’t talking to him, he’s so depressed now. TwoBit has been the exact same way. Dallas has been so touchy feely. Only Darry and Johnny had seemed normal. He sighs again and lays back on the ground. He looks up at the stars and feels so...small. He was so tiny and insignificant here on Earth. A person’s life span truly wasn’t that impressive. No matter what kind of path you set for yourself, no matter the accomplishments you made or medals you won, it didn’t matter in comparison. Those obstacles in life never mattered when you took away the fears. It seemed almost insane to even do anything in life, but what was more insane was the fact that people set up their lives in tiny doll houses, everyone was only playing themselves and others. Every one played games to hide the fears they had inside themselves. While life was pointless, others went to work, got married and had families, as if it ever made a difference. Money had no value, family had no value, the existence of humankind was insane and worthless. Even if they weren’t here, the Earth would be.

Ponyboy shakes his head and glares. He looks over at his big blonde brother who is leaving. He sits up.

“Where is Soda going?”

“He said he was tired.” TwoBit answers and stands up. He stretches and heads in. Pony casts his brows down.

“TwoBit? Where are you going?!”

“I’m going home. I..I just need to go home. I just need to.” He says, getting much quieter at the end. Pony looks even more confused. Never did he ever do such a thing. What was happening?! His head is spinning, the world is turning upside down!

“Pony? Are you okay?” Dallas asks and tries to look at him. The teen was pale and dizzy. He was so angry and scared. Why were they doing this to him?! Pony glares and stands up. He begins to march off, going to confront his big brother once in for all. Dallas stops him though, taking his forearm in a gentle grasp and turns him around. “Hold on, kiddo. Stop right there. What’s that look on your face?” He asks through a burnt out cigarette, that he now spits out and crushes under his heel.

“It’s not fair!” He hollers, voice raising as the hot tears fill his eyes. They’re not like sad tears, or even the tears he cried when he was hit hard in the gut, but the tears he got when he lost his parents. He was so angry and it was bad for a little while because it hurt so much. He had lost his family and now he was losing them again. It had only been a week, but it was building up. When he lost his parents, it was random and happened so fast. This, was painful. He was losing them slowly and the pain tore his heart apart.