Seasons [h.s]

Winter - Part 10

Harry's POV

It had been a month since I had last heard from Grace.

Being with Grace that night had caused me to feel something that I hadn't felt in years: Unadulterated Intrigue. Grace gave me that weird feeling that you got when the girl you liked in grade school gave you even the slightest bit of attention. I couldn't get her smile out of my head. So naturally I called her nonstop - something that was completely out of my character. When weeks went by without a single phone call, my fantasies rapidly died. I assumed she had had enough of me, and I would not allow myself to look like a fool. I removed her from my memory - women, parties, more women. It wasn't long before I began to feel like my old self again, though there was still a faint remembrance of her in my mind.

"What do you mean she disappeared?" Gemma whined as we sat on my couch watching a banal romantic comedy.

"Exactly what I said Gemma. The last time I heard from her was on our first date..." I shrugged, taking another sip of my beer.

"Something must be wrong." She pondered. "She doesn't seem like the type of woman to just disappear."

"We don't know her well enough to claim that argument. Frankly, I think I should've known better."

"Harry, you can't live in fear that everyone you fall for will leave." Gemma squeezed my hand, apparently trying to take the edge off of her words.

"Who said I fell for her?" I bit.

"Harry, enough with the tough guy routine, okay? After everything that happened with Amalia, you'd think you'd be more sensitive!"

Now, I was fuming.

"Oh Harry..." Gemma covered her mouth, "it slipped, I'm sorry!"

But it was too late. I took my beer and stomped away to my bedroom. It had been a silent rule between Gemma and I that her name would never come up. Yet, here we were - all of my past emotions flooding back into my body. I was thinking about her, once again. The horrid anamnesis playing back in my mind: Coming home to see her packing her things and telling me that she couldn't live a lie anymore. Secretly, I had been holding an engagement ring behind my back.

It was the first time I had really felt broken after my mom passed away. Amalia had promised me forever, and yet she left me. After she left, I lost a part of myself. I gave up on my life, and on ever trying to become anything. Alcohol, and women became my medicine. Anger became my drug. I refused to let myself sit around blubbering over her, and I had been doing just fine.

Until now.

"Harry, don't shut me out." Gemma pleaded as she entered the room. "You were in love, that isn't something to be ashamed about. It's a beautiful thing."

"Is it? You fall in love, you get hurt and that's the end! Why would I ever want to go through that again? Grace did me a favor really, I'm glad I didn't have to cut her off myself."

"Harry! The point of falling in love is to become vulnerable and allow that person to see every part of you."

"And what do you know about love?" My voice followed the pattern of my intensifying fury. "We all knew you weren't in love Matt when you married him!"

"E-Excuse me?" She asked taken aback.

"You married Matt because you got pregnant, and felt like you had no choice. So, I don't think you're in any position to give advice on love." I spat.

Tears now filled the brim of her eyes. "I should be going." She said before running out of the room.

I instantly regretted everything that I said, but by the time I ran after her, she was gone.

**

As the days went on, I self-medicated heavily. The parties were bigger and better, and I invited more and more women to the house to keep my mind away from my issues. After all, Grace didn't deserve to be all that I thought about, and neither did Amalia. I was perfectly fine without them.

"You still reign as the king of parties, Styles." Louis, my friend of 6 years, commended over the blaring music. We met in college and had remained friends ever since - he was one of the few people in my life that I could always count on.

"There's too many people here, Tommo." I warned.

I had decided to host a small gathering at my apartment with just a few of my friends from college and my friends from my dad's company. But, it seemed like every person took my invitation as a "bring five guests with you as well". My home overflowed with strange faces, and they didn't seem to understand what the word "guest" meant.

"You need to relax! All of these people are here to celebrate you!" His voice was slow like molasses after all of the alcohol he had been drinking.

"I don't know half of the people in here, Louis!" I couldn't help but grin at his intoxicated state. "C'mon, we'd better get you upstairs before you collapse and get trampled to death." I proceeded to drag him through the large crowd, up to my bedroom. "Now," I said after we had made it, "stay up here until you sober up!"

He replied with a drunken thumbs up. I rolled my eyes and made my way back down the stairs - it seemed like the number of people had grown in the short time that I was upstairs.

"Hey, Harry! Some people are complaining that the booze is running low." My redheaded friend Ed informed. He also looked wasted -  sweat causing his hair to stick to his brow.

"That's because I didn't expect this many people, Edward." I growled.

"Hey, hey! Don't shoot the messenger! It's your party, remember?" He held hands up in defense.

"Fine, I'll go buy some more. You think you can stop the cops from showing up while I'm away?"

"You got ittttt!" He stammered as he tried to give me a high-five, but missed.

**

The owner of the liquor store reluctantly let me in. I made it only ten minutes before closing and he was not happy about it. He followed me throughout the store, checking his watch and huffing every other minute. I sighed in relief once I was away from his toxic energy.

As I packed the boxes of beer into my car, I heard the small voice of a woman behind me. "Spare some change, sir?"

The fact that she had snuck up behind me wasn't what caused me to jump. It wasn't the fact that it was ten o'clock at night and I was in a bad part of town. What startled me was that I knew that voice. It was a voice that I had replayed over and over in my head since the first time I heard it.

"Grace..." I breathed.

**

I just wanna thank you guys for all of the positive feedback I've been getting on this book. It means so much to me that you guys are enjoying it. There's a lot more to come ❤️