Seasons [h.s]

Summer - Part 2

Harry's POV

I was doing the right thing - at least that's what I had been telling myself for the last month.

No one else would understand this. How could you possibly explain abandoning your pregnant girlfriend and her daughter? If only people could read my mind, then maybe they would realize that I was protecting her. I wasn't made to be a father. It would be better for everyone if I simply stayed away.

So, I left.

This doesn't mean that it didn't take constant convincing. It was hard to imagine not being with Grace and Mia, and I continuously fought against the thoughts of running back to them. The longer I stayed in New York, the stronger the pain grew.

So, I jumped in a cab, sped off to JFK, and booked a flight out of the country. To my parents' house in Greece, to be exact. It hadn't been used since my mother died, and it wasn't something that Gemma and I thought much about. In my situation, it seemed like the perfect place. It stood so close to a clear body of water that, at night, you could hear the stream rushing against the rocks. It was nice to be secluded from everyone and everything again - with only my thoughts surrounding me. There wasn't much civilization for at least a couple miles. But it didn't take long for Gemma to find me.

"Mr. Styles," Antonia, my middle-aged, Grecian housekeeper called one morning. Her short black hair was pulled into a tight ponytail - her white strands exposing themselves in the roots. "Phone, phone." Her broken English always brought a smile to my face.

"That's odd. Who knows I'm here?" I inquired.

Antonia shrugged, "I no tell."

I chuckled. "Of course not, I trust you." I squeezed her shoulder before taking the phone from her hand. "Hello?"

"Harry. Edward. Styles."

A sigh fell from my lips. I rubbed my eyes, hoping to wake up from this nightmare. "Hello, Gemma."

"Do you understand how worried  I've been?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm fine, promise."

"I could care less about how you're doing! I meant how worried I've been about Grace. Do you understand what you're putting her through? The woman is pregnant, Harry. How could you do this?"

I raked my hand through my hair, feeling my heart pick up speed with my growing anxiety. "I know, I screwed up."

"Screwed up? This is unforgivable!"

"Gem, I know you don't understand it but I really think this is the best option. We both know I'm not made for this. I'll make sure that the baby has everything it needs, but I'm not one of those things."

"Every child deserves to know their father, Harry."

"My mind is set, Gem. I know I'm doing the right thing." I shook my head in defiance.

"How many times a day do you have to say that to yourself before you believe it?"

I pondered her question for a moment. I had said it to myself about a hundred times already and there were still doubt swirling around in my brain. "...that's not the point."

"You're better than this. I know you and I know you're going to make the right decision at some point. I just hope that Grace is still around when you do."

My heart fell. "How is she?"

"Stressed, miserable, heart-broken; would you like me to continue?"

"No... no, I'm catching on."

"So, when can I expect you back?" Gem's voice held a trace of enthusiasm.

"It's not that easy, Gemma. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going to be a  father. Me - a father!"

Gemma paused for a moment. "Harry, do you remember the night that I gave birth to Emily? You were so afraid to be in the delivery room so you waited until she was out and asleep before you even peeked your head through the door." She let out a light chuckle. "Do you remember what I said to you once you finally came to greet me."

I nodded. "You said, 'how the hell am I going to do this?'"

"And what did you say?"

I huffed - knowing exactly what she was getting at. "I said, 'you're not going to do anything. you and Matt are going to figure this out together... and I'm happy to help with everything except baths and diapers.' "

I could hear her smiling from the other line, "don't you see, Harry? You're not going to do this on your own. You've met the most amazing girl, who just so happens to be the most amazing mother already. You two are going to figure this out together. And I'm also here to help with everything except baths and diapers."

"Thank you, Gem." I couldn't stop myself from grinning, but it didn't remove any of my anxiety. "I just need more time, okay?"

"Alright. I know you'll do the right thing."

"And Gem? Get her anything she needs, okay? You have access to my accounts anyway, so just make sure they both have everything they need."

"I will, Harry-"

"And, if anything goes wrong-"

"I'll be sure to call, I know."

"Thank you."

Click.

Most of that night was spent tossing and turning in my bed. I felt as if I was wrestling to different versions of myself, and both of them were fighting for complete control. One part of me wanted to be a father to my unborn child and commit myself to loving Mia and Grace forever. The other part of me was overcome by the memories of my childhood and didn't want my child to have any chance of experiencing the same thing. My father's voice replayed in my head over and over again.

"Any child that shares your genes is a waste of life!"

"You're a waste of space, Styles."

His voice continued to replay in my head during the weeks that followed. Every time I would pick up the phone to call Grace, I would hear him. Anytime I asked Antonia to look for ticket prices, I heard his unapologetic tone. I felt trapped.

Until, that faithful Thursday evening. I was in the kitchen about to pour myself another tall glass of scotch, hoping to forget my reality for a short while. Before I could take a swig, I heard a knock at the front door. "Antonia?" I asked, my voice slurred with wariness. "Are you expecting company?"

Antonia appeared from the living room. "No, no! I bring nobody."

I felt a twinge of suspicion in the pit of my stomach. As I walked towards the door, I felt Antonia's small hand grab a hold of my wrist. Her face was covered in fear and she was signaling for me to stay away from the door, but I continued.

I leaned my ear against the front door. "Who is it?"

"Does Harry Styles live here?" A deep, elderly voice said from behind the door.

"Who's asking?" I inquired defensively.

"I have a message for him... from his mother."

**

Hello, everyone! I know that it has been way too long since I've posted a chapter of Seasons. I really want to apologize for the long delay. Senior year of college was really hectic, but it's finally over and I have time to write! I am hoping to finish this book before I start working so stay tuned. I know this chapter was short but I know you guys have been dying to know what happened to Harry so I wanted you guys to hear his side of the story.

Don't forget to let me know what you think!

Missed you all, Anne.x