Seasons [h.s]

Summer - Part 4

Harry's POV

"You're hallucinating..." I thought to myself. My eyes were tightly shut and I refused to open them. "It'll all be over once you open them again."

I had been repeating the same words over and over to myself for the past 5 minutes now, and each time it became less believable. The whole room smelled like her. The voice sounded just like her... but there was no way in hell that my mother was speaking to me.

"Harry, you must turn around." Her voice wrapped around my body like a sweet embrace; one that I had longed to feel for too long. One I stayed up crying for night after night.

I refused to obey the voice, for it could not possibly be her. My mother was not speaking to me. My body continued to tremble with anxiety as I waited for the woman to speak again.

"Harry, please. Just look at me!" The beautiful voice begged.

Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. I knew that I would lose it the second I turned around.

And I did.

There she was, standing before me - just as beautiful as I remembered her. Her big brown eyes able to read any thought on my mind, her thick brown hair was now peppered with more grays than I remembered from before. She seemed skinnier as well, but not as fragile as when she was with my father. She looked healthy... and happy.

"Mo-Momma?" My voice broke.

"Oh Harry," She whimpered before scooping me into a hug. Her hugs were what I missed most about her. I cried for nights on end wishing that I could be embraced by her just one more time. I held onto her tightly, afraid that if I let go I would lose her once again. I hadn't realized I had been sobbing until I felt her rake her hands through my hair and begin lulling me with her melodious voice. "Honey, it's alright."

"Mom," I repeated again into her shoulder, hoping my brain would register the news this time.

"I'm here, I'm right here honey." We stayed in each other's arms for so long that my legs began to ache. She finally took me by the shoulders, wiped my tears, and led me outside of her home. We walked out to a patio that overlooked the beach. She took a seat on a swinging bench and motioned for me to sit next to her. Once I finally sat down, we both remained silent for a while. I didn't know what was keeping her from speaking, but in my case, I needed to hush my racing thoughts. There were so many things I wanted to say to her - many from an angry place; another part of me simply wanted to be held by her again.

The waves in front of me helped keep me calm. The rush of the water seemed to steady my heartbeat. It was a beautiful day to find the first person you'd ever loved.

I finally spoke. "I remember you saying you wanted to live out by the beach. I guess you found your dream."

Her lips shifted into a straight line - she seemed to be thinking about what to say next. Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke, "when your father and I would argue, I would take trips out to our home out here. I would spend the day out by the water and away from most civilization. It was like my home away from home. I wanted so much to stay here forever, away from all of the hurt that I was experiencing in New York. But I always went back because of you two, you both were the only good things in my life."

Another tear raced down my cheek. "When did you... Why did you?" I couldn't seem to formulate a coherent question.

She understood. "It was right after you had told me that your dad was cheating on me. I remember being alone in the house, sitting on the floor crying for hours. Suddenly, I started to feel a pain in my chest and tightness, I became light headed and dizzy. The room seemed to be spinning all around me. Our housekeeper called an ambulance and they took me to the hospital right away. The doctors said that I was experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. They also say that with the amount of stress my body seemed to be under, it was shocking that I made it out alive." Mom paused for a moment and I could see tears brimming in her eyes.