taste | e.d

twenty-four

I am in my room at my apartment when I wake, and the first thing I feel is the rough soreness between my legs. The next thing is an acrid taste in my mouth, making me want to gag. The last is my pounding headache that worsens whenever I look at the light.

Luca is right next to me, his blue shirt inside out.

I can quickly connect the dots to figure out what happened last night.

My breath catches in my throat. Did I agree to that? Did I...

I get up silently so as not to wake him and pad over to the bathroom. When I lift my shirt in the mirror, I see red bruise-like marks all across my stomach.

He wrote all over me. I didn't want that. I never wanted that. I never wanted anyone to replace–

I quickly shake my head and look up at my reflection. My mascara is smeared. My hair is a straggly mess.

The taste in my mouth is unbearable now. I grab my toothbrush and soak it, then proceed to grabbing my toothpaste, and vigorously scrub my tongue to flush the taste out.

As I'm brushing, I catch sight of a milky white stain on my shirt. Is that...?

Frustrated tears forming in my eyes, I rinse my mouth, throw the toothbrush out, and then untwist the cap of my mouthwash.

After I start swishing it around in my mouth, I try to put the cap back on, but the edge of the bottle tips into the sink and the blue liquid spills everywhere.

"Kendall?" Luca says groggily.

I spit and say, "I'm fine!"

My hands shake as I grab toilet paper and try to soak the mess up.

"Can I come in? Do you need help?"

It'd really help if I wasn't hearing your voice right now, thanks. "I'm alright, Luca." Suddenly, my stomach starts feeling queasy. "God, no," I say, my voice strained.

I lift the lid on the toilet and stand on my knees just as my throat starts burning.

"Kendall, I'm coming in."

I can't respond now because I'm puking, everything I drank last night coming up the same way it went down. Luca comes in, gathering my hair and holding it back for me.

I'm heaving and the feeling is horrible. My head is pounding, my hands are shaking, and it feels like someone cranked the temperature up over a hundred degrees.

"It's okay," he says.

"You can't tell me it's o–!" Another round comes up before I can finish the sentence.

"Kendall Rose," he says.

"Say my name one more time, I'm going to kill you."

"What's wrong with you?" Luca says, growing cautious.

"You're what's wrong." I wipe my mouth and flush the toilet, then proceed to grabbing a new toothbrush and brushing my teeth again.

"Me? How?" he asks, looking at my reflection in the mirror.

"I thought you could... fix me," I admit. "And you didn't. In fact, you just did what every predictable guy would do." I spit and rinse out my mouth. "You got me drunk and used me."