LeviHan One Shots

Translucent

!! CONTAINS MANGA SPOILERS !!

The Captain solitarily rambled about the silent desolate hallway, moving his still trembling legs forward aimlessly, letting his feet take the lead. He wandered his eyes around despite of the sharp stings on his right eye whenever he moves them. The uncovered eye of his took in the sight of the very familiar hallway, making him heave a doleful sigh from each time his mind recalls a memory. Just the remembrance of the Captain's fallen comrades, chatting delightedly as they saunter side by side made him feel more isolated than he already was. 

He was never bothered by the thought of being alone, by the feeling of being alone. He always used to think that he was, in fact, in favor of being in solitude. He never felt lonely before, though he did spend much of his life isolated. He loved it, truth be told. He loved not having a living, breathing person in a same room with him. 

But that was until the time she came scurrying towards him while he was resting with his two departed friends. She came hastily, exclaiming how amazing he was with handling the gear so swiftly. Her wide amber eyes shining in excitement, only pointed towards him in his befuddled state, not having a single care about the peering eyes around them.  

That was the very first time Levi felt accepted. That was the first time someone from the scouts acknowledged him and his friends as humans. Not as crummy thugs from the underground, but as normal human beings. Like every one of them. 

And Levi, he never forgot about the overwhelming feeling he got the first time their eyes met. The feeling stayed within him that he longed to feel it again and again just to remind him how amazing and peculiar of a feeling it was. The more time he spent as a soldier in the Corps, the more he was finding himself yearning to spend as much time possible with the eccentric, titan-obsessed researcher. He was sure he only coveted her presence for the sake of pleasuring himself with the way she made him feel more human but, as their hair grow longer, as the flowers wither, as the seasons change, he realized that it wasn't the feeling that drives him to continue constantly being under the same roof with the most boisterous scout anymore. 

He was simply yearning to be with her. 

He longed to feel the exuberant vibe she radiates that makes his usual monotonous days filled with moments of arrant perplexity. He longed to listen to her spirited laugh in between her long rambles about her beloved creatures. He longed to witness the glorious sight of her beautiful shining eyes everytime something enlivens her. 

He longed to feel her slender calloused fingers, tenderly caressing his skin as she tries to save him from drowning in his tears. She was the first one who saw those stupid salty liquid endlessly fall from his eyes. She was also the first one who heard him whimper helplessly. She was the first to a lot of things for him, and he wants her to be the last. He doesn't need anyone else, she is enough.

He already knew that there was a time where he had to let everything go, including her. He already readied himself that even before sliding an arm inside the sleeves of their uniform for the first time. But, he couldn't quite figure out why he tried to stop her from protecting them and the flying boat. 

It was that day. The day he thought he was fully ready for but he knows deep within him that, that day was the one he's the most scared of. By the time he actually needed to let her go, he couldn't get himself to. 

He stood there, in spite of the stabbing pain on his legs everytime he took a step. He still forced himself to walk towards her just to call her out and stop her from what she was about to do. 

"Hey, four-eyes" The words he uttered as he tried to call for her attention, hoping for her to hear the desperation in his usual stern voice. 

He knew she understood what he was trying to tell her, like she always does, as she was taken aback, standing frozen in her spot for a quick second before making her way towards him in a rather uneasy way. He could tell right away that she was nervous but he could also see how desperate she was. They both were. But only one desperation can be granted. And, he was aware that it has to be hers. It was excruciating for him to admit but he needed to accept it. 

"You know it Levi,"  She started off as they stood side by side "My time-" The brunette said, a few droplets of sweat continuously rolling down her face "-has come" She choked out, her voice slightly trembling "I want to go out with a bang"  The way she made effort in making her voice as light as possible to not make him worry more made him feel crestfallen "So please, let me go" She pleaded, making Levi's gray irises downcast, still in a state of an utter disbelief.

He was hesitant to grant her last request but, he knew that he couldn't decide according to how he wants things to be done. He had to consider the few comrades he has left. He needed to think about the people that they can save from the rumbling. The last thing that he could think about at that very moment was his own will.

He wordlessly raised his hand before tenderly putting his fist on her heaving chest, feeling her beating heart for the last time "Dedicate.." He started off before swallowing, trying to fight the burning lump in his throat "..your heart" He felt her chest hitch, making him almost raise his gaze to look her in the eyes, but he couldn't. 

It was too much of him if he said that he expected her to tear up and feel down in the mouth, but he did. He expected her to get overwhelmed from the frightening feeling of putting one foot in her grave but instead, she breathed out a short laugh. The last laugh he heard from her.

 "That's the first time I heard you say that" and the last words she spoke to him.

"See you soon, four-eyes" He muttered as he stared at the very familiar wooden door standing tall before him. It was the door to her room, lab, office- whatever she liked to call it. Behind the door was the room where they spent most of their time together. It most of the time goes from their fun moments of repartee to him, nagging her about how much germs she could get if she wouldn't clean herself regularly. Before, that door was the only thing that separated him from the lady. But now, it was life.

Levi placed his fist over his heart as he tried to remember the feeling of her heartbeat on his, with his eyes closed.

The ravenette was too drowned in his memories of the woman that he didn't realize the woeful stares from the three scouts, Kirstein, Arlert and Springer who happened to see the man solemnly standing in front of their departed Commander's room with his fist placed on his chest.

For the scouts, the man was impossible to read as he always had the monotone, strong and stone cold demeanor.  But despite of being stoic all the time, there was this one thing that they saw right through him. They weren't sure about how the captain truly feels for, Hanji was the only one who understood him fully. But that one thing, they were sure about. It was the man's strong feelings for the late Commander and, it was truly translucent. 

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A/N: I finished reading chapter 132 weeks ago and I'm still going through it (╯°Д°)╯︵/(.□ . \) this fic actually ended up longer than I'm originally planning it to be so whoops lol like I said, I'm still going through it. I got a little- okay- soooo carried away hehe sorry~ (not sorry) I published this as how I have written it without much editing so, sincere apologies if it was written so poorly hahahaha! I'll edit it more sometime in the future, I think lol