This Is Called Life.

heart break.

I knew nothing was alright between us. I knew this this relationship was going to end soon. not because of the reason he gave me. not because he fell out of love but because he never was. I was such a fool, trying to fix everything. trying to save the little we had. but it all went to waste. and this all happened because of me. How could I be so naive. I tried telling myself how I knew this was going to happen. but my heart was not even trying to listen. I wasn't crying. not with tears trailing out of my eyes but my heart. My heart was sobbing. yelling. screaming. I couldn't bear the pain. I ran out of the car and into my house and fell down on my knees. My phone in my hand and my eyes constantly on the message displayed on the screen. he couldn't even say it on my face, a voice whispered inside me and the first sob escaped my lips. then another and soon I was a sobbing mess. surrounded by silence. emptiness and pain. I couldn't breathe. every sob was suffocating me slowly.

My body on it's own stood up and my legs started making their way towards the kitchen. I can't take it anymore, my inner voice whispered and my hand gripped the knife immediately. and started making it's way towards my raised wrist. it might hurt but couldn't compete with the pain in my heart.

just a little cut.

think about your mom... and your dad. another voice whispered.

but what about you? can you live seeing him loving your best friend?

and what about ash? how heart broken will he be after hearing this news?

thinking about ash made me sob even more and my hand missed the vain on the wrist and left a little cut on my arm. I cried out and fell on the ground. sobbing badly. blood flowing out of my arm and on the floor. I could never see blood. it freaked me out but today it felt relaxing. helpful. I didn't knew such kind of pain existed. the kind of pain no painkillers could heal. but look what life created for me. A new way to tease me.

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loud knocks on my door woke me out of my sleep. sleep which came after eating 3 sleeping pills. I kept ignoring but the knocks became louder. I groaned and tried getting up and groaned even more as accidentally my injured hand made contact with the sheets. Some how I managed to open the door. my maid anna was standing there with worry all over her face. "miss Amelia, thank God you're well. I thought... you knoww... blood.." then her eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed. I followed her eyes and they stopped on my arms. "Miss amelia! you're hurt." she said and grabbed my hand. I winced and she released my hand. "I am okay anna. just leave okay? i don't need you today." I said, closed the door and went back to sleep.

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My phone kept ringing but I didn't pick it up. Not only because I was not in mood but also because I couldn't. I checked the time again. It was 6 pm. I sighed and turned to lay on my back. just when i was comfortable in my position. somebody started knocking on my door. I rolled my eyes and kept staring at the ceiling. suddenly my phone started ringing. I closed my eyes and started counting till the sounds stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at the door. to see the knob twisting. But I locked it! and there my brother Ashton was. I sat up immediately. My head was spinning not the hangover type but the going to die soon type. I closed my eyes to stop the sensation and thankfully it did. "Ashton?." I breathed out. "yes me. what have you done amyy?." he said approaching me. "what is this? oh my god!." he said and carefully grabbed my hand, "

"tell me that bastard did something! I am going to kill him Amelia. Mark my wor-." he stopped as he saw my tears. falling out one by one. his eyes widened, he left my hand and pulled me towards him. "Ameli-."

"He dumped me." I somehow said through my sobs. And my brother said nothing other than offering his shoulder. Which I gladly accepted. And cried with a such a force.

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new book!