The Trouble with Faking It / Tyler Seguin

Chapter 2: Everybody Is Attached To Something

Chapter 2:
Everybody is attached to something

Sometimes we expect more from others just because we
would be willing to do that much for them.

October 11th, 2018

It all starts how one would think. You move to a new city, miles away from home trying to chase away your demons. Trying to erase your past and move on. But it never works out, does it? Your past always comes back to kick you in the teeth no matter how hard to try to put it behind you.

That's what happened to me and it all started eleven years ago, with a young girl who fell in love with a boy.

***

11 years ago 

When I was fourteen years old, I met a boy and his name was Dylan. He was older than me, two years older. He was captain of the football team, A+ student, attractive, and for some insane reason, he was interested in me.

Young, naïve, Daisy Winters.

A quiet girl who like books more than people. Who had a very small group of friends and mostly stuck to herself. Who was stupid enough to believe in True Love.

My parents read me too many fairy-tale books when I was young and that gave me the love for reading. I enjoyed many genres of books but my true interest was romance novels. I loved the stories of girls who fell in love with their prince charming, of true love coming true.

So, when Dylan asked me on a date, I was ecstatic and nervous all wrapped up in one. My parents were wary, I could tell. Madilyn stood behind me and supported my decision to date Dylan. It wasn't until after would I realize just the kind of person he was and how right my parents were. We dated for two years, and then my worst fear came true.

I became pregnant.

My dad was a Neurosurgeon, and my mom was a Neonatal surgeon (how fitting right?). I knew exactly how they would react and just at the beginning of my Senior year? The cherry on the cake. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what Dylan would do – he would leave and he just that. He grabbed his stuff and hopped on a plane to who the fuck knows where. I let myself wallow in my bed for one day before I got myself together and moved on with my life. My parents were furious at both him, and me. But they gave me the decision – have an abortion, or continue through with the pregnancy.

I knew the risks of teenage pregnancy. My mother drilled it into my head the moment I was physically able to have children. There was something about the fact that I had a tiny human living inside me that stopped me from an abortion. My parents supported the decision, but they both knew I couldn't and wouldn't keep the child after he or she was born.

On October 11th, 2007, Clara Grace was born at just 23 weeks and 5 days and I never saw her again.

***

"So, how are we going about this?" I ask Tyler over breakfast. He invited me over to his house for breakfast so we could discuss how we were going to play this. People know now, so we have to figure out what to do next.

He shrugs, "I think we should just play it by ear. See how everything goes."

"Well I have a list." I say and he drops his fork, looking up at me in surprise.

"A list?"

"Yes, Tyler. A list." I pull a piece of paper out my pocket and he grimaces. I can already see what's going through his mind.

"PDA, limited. Parties, limited. Meeting other wives and girlfriends, limited –ʺ

"Are you going to keep saying limited?"

"Sleeping with other girls, unacceptable. I'm not ending up in the middle of some scandal named 'Tyler Seguin cheating on girlfriend'." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"I'm not an ass." He says and I raise an eyebrow.

"That's debatable."

I'm being a bitch today but he knows why. Today is usually the day I lay on my couch for the whole day like I've been doing for the past eleven years. The only reason I'm here is because I need to work out this whole mess before it gets messier.

He reaches across the table and gently wraps his fingers around my wrist, pulling me back to reality.

"You okay?" He asks gently.

I want to say yes, to say that I'm fine and just need to be left alone but there is something about Tyler that always makes me want to spill my guts. I don't know if it's his sincere brown eyes, or the little crease he gets in his forehead when he's concerned but he always seems to know when I'm upset and makes me say how I feel.

I begin to nod my head before stopping and oh wonderful, here come the waterworks. He simply gets up from his chair, walks over to the one next to mine and sits down, pulling me into his arms. He lets me cry until the tears have stopped. When I pull away from him, he's frowning.

"I was going to suggest we start today but I know it's not a good –ʺ

"No. I'm fine. Let's get to work."

***

October 15th

When I moved to Dallas, I met Tyler at a bar. He tried to pick me up, I turned him down and thus, a beautiful friendship was born. I think he's always been a little irritated that he wasn't able to get me to go home with him because he was so used to getting what and who he wanted. I was pleased that I was able to rub in his face that I "resisted his charm" and won. I was damn certain that I would never date a hockey player – or anybody for that matter. After what happened with Dylan, I had one other relationship that ended badly and I never wanted to get attached to anyone again.

Madilyn always says, "Everybody is attached to something", and I do my best to prove her wrong.

The agreement I have with Tyler is that he would help me find Clara in exchange for pretending to be his girlfriend. I've tried it before, but without needing to borrow the money from my parents – I can't afford it. If they knew what I was doing, I know they would object which is why I can't ask. That's where Tyler comes in. He's got more money than he needs and he can spare a few to help me out since I'm basically messing up my life for him.

My mom has called twice asking about the relationship between me and Tyler. I try giving as little details as possible, because I'm terrified of blurting out the truth. My younger brother, Jax, somehow found out the truth and promised not to tell but demanded to be kept up-to-date with my search for Clara. He supports me now that I want to find her and I couldn't ask for a better brother. Jax has always been by my side no matter what.

"This is so pointless," I groan, shoving a pile of papers away from me. "we're not finding anything useful."

Madilyn looks over at me and frowns. "We just have to keep looking. We'll get there. Ty is helping with the money and you and I can do this."

"She'll be eleven by now, Maddie. What if she doesn't even want to meet me? Or what if whoever adopted her, won't let me see her? All this will be for nothing."

Madilyn drops the papers she is holding and comes to sit by me. "Hey, at least you'll know how she is. It will give you peace knowing she's okay."

"If she's okay." I mutter dropping my head in to my hands. Madilyn sighs, but goes back to looking over the files. I lay on the couch, close my eyes, and try to imagine what will happen.

Am I doing the right thing trying to find her? What if I'm making a mistake and I ruin her life? With all these thoughts running through my mind, I almost miss when Madilyn inhales a deep breath.

"I found something."