Chapter 19: when we were young
"and it's selfish of me to say this, but no one will ever love you the way I do."
August 16th
"When will Tyler be back?"
"I don't know."
"Is he not coming back?" She asks shortly, looking at me like she knows I am the reason he's gone. "Is that why we're leaving?"
"No." I say, packing more of her clothes in a suitcase and ignoring her first question. "We're going to Montreal."
"Why?"
I stop, taking a deep breath and turning to look at her. She has her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face that reminds me of Tyler. Clearly they were spending too much time together.
"You said you wanted to meet my mom, right?" I ask and she purses her lips but nods.
"So that is why we're going there. You also have a doctor appointment while we're there."
"Why?"
"Because."
"'Cause why?" She questions and I sigh.
"You just do. Now go back your carry-on bag, okay?"
She looks like she might fight me on it but sighs dramatically and walks to her closet, yanking out a bag with the Dallas Stars logo on it that Jamie bought her a few weeks ago.
Once everything is packed, I leave a note on the fridge for Tyler even though I have no idea when he will be back. I sent him multiple text messages the past week but he hasn't answered. The only reason I know he is even alive, is because I texted Jackie who told me he was with her and was very kind in not asking what happened. I have no idea what Tyler told her but she didn't seem mad with me, just asking how Clara was and when we would come visit her.
I couldn't give her an answer because I had no idea what was going on between Tyler and I. Visiting his mom while he was there wasn't exactly something I was interested in doing with all that is happening.
She accepted my vague answer and told me that Tyler said hello, but I know he didn't.
Now, Clara and I are sitting in the airport and she's on Facetime with Jaxon who she had taken a quick liking to when they first met. I wonder how she will like my mom and Axel.
"How is the baby?" She asks Jax, and for the tenth time, I forget that Lauren gave birth a few weeks ago. With everything that has been going on, I have barely been able to keep up with my own life, let alone someone else.
"She's sleeping." Jax says and I look over to see the camera focused on little Nellie. She cute, I'll admit that and it makes me sad that I missed that part of Clara's life but I try to remind myself that I made the right decision but it doesn't make it any easier.
"We will go visit soon," I promise Clara who smiles and continues to badger Jax with questions about Nellie until we are called to board the plane.
"Good luck with the test." Jax tells me and I force a smile.
"Thanks."
He ends the call and I take Clara's hand so I don't lose her in the crowd. She's not a fan of flying - something I learned when we flew from Oklahoma to Dallas but with promises of ice-cream and cookies when we get to Montreal, she behaves well. But halfway through the flight, she throws a fit.
She's been asking to call Tyler ever since he left and I keep having to make up excuses but apparently she's had enough because she suddenly starts crying.
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