It's been a week now. A week of surprises for the Fisher home; although, none were good surprises. Every night Mike would wake up with his crying wife and try to calm her down from the nightmare she'd just experienced about her attacker. Every morning was different. Some mornings he would just lay there with her and rub her back, not knowing what else he could do for her while she cried. Other mornings, he would wake up in bed all alone, Carrie having left to go for a run without telling him. A run that would last sometimes four hours. Four hours because maybe that was just how long it took her pushing the memory out of her mind for her to actually stop thinking about it for a second. Mike was running out of things to do, things that would make her feel better in any way. He loved his wife, he loved her more than anything else but he wasn't sure how much longer he could take all the "surprises".
"You're back." Mike smiled faintly, Carrie walking through the front door. "How was your run?" He asked, hugging her gently before softly kissing her cheek.
"Good, very very good actually." The blonde smiled with her response, a smile that Mike hadn't seen in what felt like forever.
"Why better than usual?" Mike questioned, the two taking a seat on the couch.
"I uh, I prayed today. I know that sounds cheesy but that was the first time since it happened and I just, I don't know. I feel better about a lot of things. Of course it still hurts but I need to focus on more important thins, like our marriage." Carrie said quietly, Mike surprised that she was talking so much after just getting back from her run.
"Our marriage?" He questioned, confused and worried for what she was going to say.
"Mike, I haven't been treating you right." Carrie bit her lip gently as she looked down at the floor, feeling guilty for her being the reason their marriage had been suffering.
"Carrie, that isn't your fault at all." Mike said before she could add anything. "I wouldn't expect you to be all sunshine and rainbows after what happened and especially after what I did." Mike placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. "I can't imagine how that must feel for you." He gently cupped her face with his hands.
"You walked in on Kyle and I. You know how it feels to be cheated on,-"
"And you were raped Carrie." Mike cut her off, Carrie biting her lip. "What happened you Carrie, that was terrible-,"
"You don't get to talk about how terrible it was. When, when I heard you open the front door I was so relieved. I thought, 'finally it's over'. I thought that everything would be okay since you were there, but it wasn't." She shook her head, tears quickly escaping her eyes. "Mike, you, you and I have only been married for five months. You've done more things with that woman than you've done with your own wife. Maybe, maybe our marriage is just over." She pressed her lips together as she shook her head.
"Carrie, I, I can't believe you just said that. How could you say that? Do you just not love me anymore? Do you not care?" Mike questioned, feeling as if she'd ripped out his heart.
"Of course I care. Of course I love you. I am hurting. Mike, it hurt me more to see you with that girl than it did to be raped. I, I guess it's hard to stay in love with someone when you don't love yourself." Carrie pressed her lips together as she shrugged her shoulders. "You had my trust. Whether or not you thought I cheated on you, you betrayed me." The blonde woman shook her head.
"I thought you forgave me, Carrie."
"I, I just can't forget. I'm sorry. I can't look at you the same. I gave you my heart-,"
"And Carrie I gave you mine!" Mike cut her off quickly, her able to see the tears in his eyes as he stepped forward, placing both hands on the sides of her arms. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I know that I can't say it enough. I know I've betrayed you trust and Carrie, I hate myself for it. But please, don't give up on us okay?" He placed a hand on her cheek gently, Carrie biting her lip as tears fell down her face.
"Mike, I, I, I feel broken." She held her breath, biting her lip as the tears continued streaming down her face. "I don't know how to, to be happy. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I, I am disgusted with myself, with what happened. I let another man have sex with me and I hate myself for it Mike. I feel embarrassed that you wanted a random woman to, to be intimate with you in a way you never wanted from me..." Carrie struggled speaking, tears falling down her face.
"Care, it, I am sorry. I felt nothing with her I promise-,"
"But why that? Why did she have to do that Mike?" Carrie cut him off, wiping her eyes.
"Care, when I was younger I'm not going to lie I had that done many times. It was never by a girl I cared about. It was always a girl who through themselves at me, a girl who didn't have much respect for herself nor much from me either. I do respect you and I never wanted to disrespect you by making you do that." Mike shook his head, Carrie trying her hardest to understand what he was saying. "Look at me. I love you. I love you and there isn't anyone else in the world that I'd want to spend my life with. I have never been more sorry about anything. Please, I need you to forgive me."
