Addict

Ch.4 Perception

Rubbing at the tension in the back of my neck my mind continues to race. As I drive further away from home my emotions remain turbulent. My heart continues to drum along with flashing images of Anna in my face replaying the words that she spoke to me so harshly.

I've never been the kind of person that just sits around smiling. I can't remember the last time I genuinely smiled. Except in the hallway at the center, when that guy tried to help me, I think I smiled. I was such a spaz though, I'm not sure if it counts. "Who says you have to smile anyways," I think to myself. "Most smiles mask deception. Most frowns display perception."

There's no way I'll be able to relax if I continue to lull over what my sister said to me. The silence in this car is just a playground for negative thoughts. Glancing at my stereo I decide to play, "Who you are," by Jesse J. I'm not really in the mood for an upbeat song, nor am I in the mood for this. It just seems appropriate for how I feel. Letting my mind drift away into the music, I make the turn into Erica's neighborhood.

Erica's house is not far from my own, she lives closer to the highway. I've spent more time in her home than anywhere else outside of my own, and my grandfather's estate two counties over. We've been best friends since kindergarten, but we're total opposites. Sometimes she makes me smile, but its usually at my own expense. This is proof that I am not as stiff as my sister suggests.

My best friend has an older brother Aiden. He's a lot like a big brother to me too. He's the same age as Anna, and he was in the same class at our school, but he always kept his distance from her. I don't blame him. They have mutual friends, but somehow he never fell under her influence.

At one point during my freshman year of high school, I was sure that he would succumb to her seduction. He proved to be incorruptible, much to Anna's dismay. They were in the homecoming court opposite each other, but they weren't a couple. That girl was fighting mad. I remember watching them walk off the basketball court arm in arm. When he released her so that he could go back into the locker room, she looked like she would spontaneously combust.

I can't help but laugh out loud at the image. "See, I do smile, and I do laugh. There's nothing funnier than seeing Anna on the brink of a meltdown...from a distance. Up close and personal...not so much." These thoughts come to a screeching halt as I pull into Erica's driveway. The first thing that I see is a fire engine red F-150 pickup truck parked in my usual spot.

The last person on earth that I want to see is Tanner. A sense of dread is seeping into my bones. He is Anna's old high school boyfriend. The last time I saw him Aiden's fist pounded his nose. Blood shot all over me, and everybody blamed me for it. Everyone except for Aiden, and I never properly thanked him.

It's not the first time that he came to my rescue and I'm sure it's probably not the last. I find myself in the most precarious situations with the most god awful people nearly as much as my sister. Granted they're usually her friends. Tanner is the prime example.

As I sit in the car with the engine turned off, I consider my options. I could call Erica and have her come outside to walk me in, or I can just go around back. I can let myself in using my spare key to their house and try to creep up to her room without anyone noticing. After quick consideration, I opt for the backdoor.

I collect my things and step out of the car as quietly as possible. Before I get two steps ahead, I hear laughter. It's an unmistakable laugh that gives me the urge to spew coming from the back yard. Trying to look as impassive as possible, I just continue to walk up the driveway. In a last ditch effort to remain unnoticed I scrap my original plan and quickly head to the front porch.

As I ascend the stairs Tanner leaps up onto the porch from the side. I don't know how he made it around the corner so fast, but he's here in front of me with all of his intimidating glory. I reach around him to press the button to the door bell, but he maneuvers to the side blocking my action. Not interested in engaging this creep any further, I spin around to descend the stairs.