Heart Letters [Eren Jaeger x Mikasa Ackerman]

Chapter Five: Steps to Freedom

Ten good minutes has passed since Eren stared at the ceiling, and about that much that since Armin left through the door with tears in his eyes. Still nothing. No news, absolutely nothing but a gust of wind whirling in from the gap between the floor and the door every few minutes.

Eren sighed, lowering his head down and reached for the next letter. 

Just then, someone came crashing in through the door. The figure was indeed taller than Eren himself, not by too much, but still. He had hair of the colour brown, though much lighter than what Eren had.

"Jean?" Eren inquired, pausing his movements towards the next letter. Jean Kirchstein. A comrade, a friend, or rather, someone he’d regulary argue with before and now.

The boy was panting, half-squatting with indication that he’d came in rushing urgently. Sweat was literally dripping off his forehead, and the look on his face made everything else worse. Eren stood up and walked towards him.

"What the… Jean?" Eren stared him, dazzled by his sudden appearance. Jean fell down onto the floor, his heartbeat slowly calming down. He sat there leg crossed, hugging himself. He still said nothing, however.

"Answer me." Eren’s impatience grew, and before he knew it, he had knelt down and grabbed the other by the collar. Jean closed his eyes and choked, and only that was when Eren let him go.

"E-eren." he coughed, he stuttered. The taller boy sat down, cross-legged. His facial expression unchanged; full of worries. Eren finally understands - he’s here to ask about Mikasa, something that right now, Eren himself wants to know about.

That boy sitting before him; he knows. All those years, those looks, those talks, those sudden change of personality when she walks by - he’d gradually noticed it. As dense as he admits himself to be, Jean had made his affection towards Mikasa so clear that only Mikasa herself might have not realized it. 

As guessed, Jean asked the question that has been swimming around in Eren’s mind since the first letter he had read, “How’s she?” Jean looked up, clearly still panicking. Eren shook his head and sat down in front of him, hugging his knees in his arms. He buried his face into the gap between his body and his legs, then sighing.

If he had knew, he would have tell. He would have screamed it at the top of his lungs, he would let everybody know. He would not be able to keep it in, because his mind would automatically have him run around the whole field screaming the fact that Mikasa is alright.

But he doesn’t know.

Jean stood up with a pale face, eyes twitching. “How could you not know? You’re her brother for crying out loud! She cares about you literally more than she cares about anybody else! She risks her life just for you, I’m so freaking jealous of you for t-” he screamed, though cut short when Eren abruptly awaken from his position and bump his head against the taller male. For both sides, the pain was there.

"If I knew how she was, I would have told you. I would have told everyone. Nobody in our division has yet to receive any messages of her, Jean. The Retrieval Team is trying their best, and I’m putting all my faith on them." Eren clenched his fists together, eyeing the floor that’s made of wood. He gritted his teeth, frustrated by Jean’s approach.

For a while there, the room was silent. The sun outside was covered up by clouds, though no sign of the day ending just yet. This, however, has caused the room to grow to a darker stage than it previously had been.

"If I knew that’d happen… I would have tried to prevent it." Eren finally said, crushing the silence. Jean calmed himself down, blinking slowly. Eren finally looked up and continued, "She has always been so strong, and she made me feel… as if protecting her is no longer a necessity. But when I take my eyes off of her for a single second, that’s it, she magically disappears."