Heart Letters [Eren Jaeger x Mikasa Ackerman]

Chapter Two: Future Warriors

He gripped the piece of paper tight in his hand. The sun was still blazing outside the room, noting the fact that their expedition didn’t even take half the day away. Its bright rays shone inside the dark room, making it as if it was brightly lid.

He looked at the wall of the room, noticing the hanging pictures there. What’s more, the emblem of the Survey Corps, the Wings of Freedom. The wings that they acquire the day they step into this division, the day they swear to not hesitate to sacrifice their lives for the sake of humanity. 

His gaze then shifted to the door.

"If she’s found… he said he’d come get me." he sighed, impatiently waiting for the presence of a man. His heart raced in anxiety: what if she’s never to be found? What if… she’s gone forever?

He shook off these thoughts, convincing himself. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon, it’s still too early to be scared.” he laughed to himself, reassuring that his adopted sister will be back somehow.

He glanced at the paper in his hands a moment, slowly opening it to reveal it’s content - it was longer than the last that he had read, and was dated back when they were in training… but at least a year’s leap from the last one.

He took a deep breath before reading it softly, to himself.

"Dear Eren,

I haven’t written to you for a while now, how are you? I know you didn’t even get my last letter, but it’s okay. I’m not planning to give it you, not yet. I know training’s hard, and you’re putting your whole heart into it, but please don’t push yourself too hard. You’ll be fine, I promise you that at least. 

Today’s training wasn’t so bad, was it? I saw you slicing off the cardboard titans’ neck swiftly and smoothly, which I assume was your objective of today’s course. I just… don’t understand why you were so angry of it afterwards; I asked you, but you wouldn’t tell me. Why? I’m sorry for all these questions, but I just really want to care for you… because you’re one of the person in this cruel world I would be able to care for now.

Remember that time you were fighting with Jean in the lunch room? You both were really stubborn; what if one of you got hurt? What if Instructor Shadis caught you two in such a battle? Even after a near miss from the instructor, why did you two carry on? If you got hurt…

In a year time, we’re going to graduate from the Trainees Unit, and I can’t interpret my own feelings - happy, excited, anxious? Or sad, scared and lost? I don’t know. What about you, Eren? I’m guessing that you’re fired up and ready to choose your own path and go to the outside world, right? Or have you changed your mind?

No matter what, though… I’ll follow you there. I want to be a part of you. I’m sure Armin’s doing the same, by the looks of it. If you end up going to the Military Police, I’ll try my best to get myself in there too; but please… no matter what, don’t put your life on the line. I don’t know what to do if I find you lost from this world.

What is the first thing you want to see when you get to go outside? From the way Armin had told us when we were younger, I would love to see the sea with no end - it sounds really interesting! Salty water… so we get unlimited salt? I hope we get to go there, it’ll help humanity a lot, don’t you think? What about you, Eren? Do you want to see the sea of fire, the lands of ice first? It… it doesn’t really matter once we get to go… right?

Promise we’ll do it together, alright?

Back to the present.

So we’re having another hand-to-hand training tomorrow, right? If Annie gives you some more trouble, you should tell me. She… by my point of view, keeps tossing you off the ground. I don’t understand - if it hurts, why do you stand up and let her toss you again? And why do I feel bothered when you laugh at that? Why do I care if you want to practice with her?

I’m sorry for asking so many questions - it has become a habit. Not that I’m going to get any answers, anyways. 

Make sure you wake up early tomorrow! If not, Sasha is probably going to nab your breakfast again, and you’d have to continue with an empty stomach. While I’d voluntarily stop her, it’s pretty much impossible to keep her from reaching any edible objects. Get enough rest… because lately, I’ve seen you being a little… off. I just can’t bear seeing you like that, I don’t know why. Try not to get scolded by the instructor… again.

Also… again, I thank you for the scarf. It really saved me today - I almost fell down, and it somehow got tangled with my hands… which brought me back with balance.

I know I don’t really show any emotion… it’s because, I don’t know how. My face doesn’t change, but inside… I want you to know, even if you do little things for me, I’m smiling. Just that… I forgot how to show it. I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry.

I wish one day, you could teach me how to smile, how to laugh again. One day when you find out about this letter; and that’s one day that might never come.

It’s really awkward for me to write like this, right? I know, if you actually got to read this, you’ll be a least amused. 

I think my letter ends here. I have so much more to tell, so many questions I need answers to. But I guess I’ll save them all for sometime later, sometime later when I understand it thoroughly. Please… don’t burden yourself too much, that is all I ask for, now. I’ll trust you.

Mikasa Ackerman.”

"Amused?" he laughed sarcastically, a single tear dropped from his teal eyes. He wiped it off quickly, sniffing. "Right." he forced a grin, placing the paper above the previous that he had read. 

He stood up and walked to the door. He slowly opened it, to see if there’s any sign of the man coming to fetch him - and expected, it was a no. Outside was the plain field, patched with uneven cut grass. The wind swept past for a moment, before he closed it again. 

Eren sat against the door, feeling that his heart began to worry even more. What if she really…?

It’s still too early to think of that, right? They’d sent a retrieval team outside with the best defenses, at least he had the littlest shine of hope left that one of humanity’s strongest soldier survives long enough for that particular team to fetch her for her return. 

His thoughts suddenly wandered to the scarf he had given her. “I-it was just a scarf.. yet.” he stuttered, looking up with no emotions. He sighed, feeling cold. “She treasures it so much.” he mumbled, smirking partially.

Eren stood up from the place and walked back to the pile of letters.

Maybe he should understand her more.