silent tears

Chapter 5- Secret Out

I woke up by my phone... I look at it and it was mom, i look at the at the alarm clock to see its three in the morning. What could mom possible want so badly at the time of the morning.
"hi mom"
"Lina, Katherine is in the hospital"
"is mom OK " i said with concern in my voice." which hospital is it"
"Styles' hospital room 15 3 . hurry "
" ok"i hang up and put on a put on a slipper. And ran downstairs.
Thank God Kells give me her spear car.
When i reach her room i couldn't believe it's mom. Most of her hair was gone, her skin gets paler and needles were attached all over body.
"m-m-mom"i sob Lynda rush to catch me before i can fall.
"why did you tell me"i start walking to her bed looking for a place to sit
"i want to but i didnt want to bother you"
" how could you say that how long do you have cancer for" i hold her hands.
"6 months"
"is it that why dad left"
"well yes, no. He left because I ask him to i didnt want him to suffer too by seeing me suffer so i tell him to search for a different wife.He refuse so i told him i will never let him see you again if he don't do what i say. He loves you more than you think."
"Eric help dad to cheat on you they hurt you.... I.. I was so angry at them...... I kill them they were on their way to my school when they died."remember when i caught dad kissing another woman and Eric was blocking me because he set it up
"its not your fault honey . it was an accident. "
" how long you got to live "Dont really want to hear the answer.
" a week "she said barely speak loudly.
I could feel fresh tears fell my eyes.
" tell me you're lying.. Please tell me your lying... Lynda she is lying"i rush over to her and begin to shake her. She hug me to restrain me i sob in her chest.
"Lina there is something else Kate is your sister"
"WHAT! "
" you father cheated on me when I.i. I Was pregnant with you. He cheated with Jasmine my sister. She.. She... She died at birth" tears that i try not to fall was now leaking from my eye.  "and Kelly your dad sister couldn't have kids so she ado.. Ado.. Adopted her. "she said between her sobs.
"don't cry mom." i get up to comfort her. "y-your d-dad and Eric was planning to buy you a c-car t-to ask y-you for.... f-forgive them... T-the car you always wanted.*cough**cough *" she getting weaker by the minute.
"shhshh. No more talking please. " its like the moment when you watch the only person that is left by your side die right in front your eyes......
" here this is*cough**cough* for you"she hand me a gold necklace with a musical pendant with pink diamond in it and a car keys "and this is for Kate when you tell her the truth. Its the ring your father give to me on my wedding day." It is beautiful a silver ring with a large diamond.
Beep beep beep beep
No no" nurse!! nurse!! "
She said she have a week. Come back mom
I start shaking her with tears block mi vision " mom dont l-leave me. *cough*mom ple-e-ease don't go. Am going to be lonely without you. NURSE!!"i choke on my tears "mom dont leave me alone in this world please i dont have anybody. Who going to tell me that they love me, who going to hug me when i cry, who going to ensure i sleep ok, who going to smile at me in the morning. Nobody mom nobody only you mom only you" Lynda only watch me knowing that i need this, knowing she only did have a few hours the last few hours i speak with her. I get up rush out the hospital with Lynda calling my name i didnt look back i ran to my car and drive to the cemetery where dad was buried. I park out the gate stumbling over rocks because tears block my vision when i reach the grave it was about 5 in the morning and sun wasnt out as yet so i could barely make out the words. I lean down and start beating the grave with anger and pain.
"how could you...... How could you.... Why do you leave me alone to suffer.... Why you hate me so much..... Why are you taking mom with you....... Why... Why"
"is this because i didn't forgive you? Is if because i didnt hug you? You and Eric leave me already have you not make me miserable enough?Am s-s-so*cough*sorry ok please don't take mom please........ She is all i got"
"please don't take her away from me too"i cry and cried until my head hurts and lay down and sob on the grave till i fall asleep.
-------------------------------------------------------------"you stinks am not hugging you"
"Princess forgive me"
"no"
As soon as i heard those words in that familiar voice i know wat comes next...... Tears run down my face like water.
I want to tell how sorry I am but i cant found my voice. And i have to watch my dad burn in my dream car..... And i know who is next........ Eric
Am shouting stop but nobody seems to hear me.. "baby please forgive me"
"no go to hell. "
More tears... Only more tears roll down my cheeks. I could feel my feet walking towards the car and gas it then go to a distance and light it..... I couldn't control my body...
I turn around to see mom
" mom"
I rush over to her but the closer i get the more parasites feeding on her. When i reach close enough i was planted to the floor.
"mom! Mom! Mom! "
" mom! Mom! Its just a dream. Just a dream" i start crying again..... When i realize i was still in the grave yard alone. No one to wake me from my nightmare.

I got up and went in the car and drive home.. Strange isn't it i have a home i know nobody there, Kate is my sister and i barely have a conversation with her. Fresh tears roll my cheeks. When i reach home i go straight to the kitchen to get some water. I drink the water and went to my room and cry all day.
____________________________________

What's the point in life if you being lonely
What's purpose life holds for you when you got nobody.
What's the aim of it if only tears and pain are the only language you know
What's the motive of it if its take away the people you love
Its it to make you miserable
Its it to make you lonely
But no matter what its bring, pain and loneliness is the only thing you know so when it is force upon you it feels natural.
*******************************************#donnay