Empty Handed

two

3 AM. I'm wrapped in my blanket with Netflix playing Lilo and Stich.

"Ohana menas family, and family never gets left behind."

I roll my eyes. So much for that. I scroll through some fan edits. I had a few pages for me a few years back. Most were for Annie and Caleb. Caleb was most deserving of them. I could look at Caleb edits all day. They made me smile and believe he really was watching over us. Makes me wonder what he'd do if he saw Annie like this. Wonder what he'd think of that toothy little grin being replaced by a famous glamour smile.

So far I've seen five accounts with my name in the title. In the past month. But I get bored and sad of watching those edits of my sister and get into YouTube. I click on our newest vlog. That day I was at dance trying to perfect the group routine amd then I went out to ice cream with one of my friends. I believe I was in the vlog for two minutes. Everytime she tries to vlog me, I run from the camera. It's not where I want to be. I'm not safe on camera.

I skip through out the video. It's the same as other days. Annie going to acting lessons and voice lessons, her doing school and then she and mom going out. About half way in she films me, asking em about dance. I forgot she even knew that I did dance.

"How is your duo, Hay?"

"Duo? You mean the group dance?"

"Oh yea. Is it going well?"

"Yea. I got a new solo."

"That's cool. What kind?"

"Lyrical. Anyways I have to take a test." 

"Oh okay."

It stopped there. She walked away to film something else. My voice had been filled with sadness at the time. She didn't notice. But I guess that's how it is now. Everyday is the same damn thing. Dance, school, eat, sleep and repeat. Everyday is worse and worse and it will just drag on until one day there will be change. But I lost hopes for that long ago.

After watching the vlog I scroll to the comments and prepare for it. I haven't read them in four months. Nothing really bad pops up. Regualr comments on how exciting our lives look snd opinions on what we did or wore. I click on a chain of comments.

AbbyRock: Exciting to see Hayley in the vlog. Its refreshing to have a little break from singing lessons and stuff. Miss that kid. She should post a dance video on her channel. She's the best. And that nugget is thirteen! Keep up the amazing work, Hayley LeBlanc. You're fantastic and beautiful 💕

Reply from
BratayleyKayley; who cares. She's so annoying anyways

Reply to BratayleyKayley
LovinLifeLea: Wow. You don't deserve to have that user. Way to Hate on a girl who struggles behind her sister's shadows. She's special.

Gracie Macie: Hayley? She's a cousin right?

Reply to Gracie Macie
AbbyRock: Can't believe it. People don't even know about the girl who was the reason Bratayley started...

JustinBooks: Doesn't matter. There is a reason she isn't in the vlog no more. She's a joke. Annie was the only good that's come out of this channel. The girl is trash. Annie is a treasure.

Reply to JustinBooks
Katie_Pet_Shop: True. No one cares about Hayley or Cayden or whatever. They don't even matter anymore. Come on guys, come.to your senses. Bratayley would be be down the drain if it weren't for the star, Annie.

That's the end. I feel anger inside of me. Anyone can talk trash about me, but NO ONE talks about my brother like that. It takes all I have to ignore it. I delete the last comment and sigh. I shut my phone off and turn off the movie along with it. I pull out my blue school notebook with gold stars on it. My Minne Mouse pen is with it and I turn on my lamp that sits beside my beside. Then I plug in my head phones and pick a Playlist.

After choosing The End Of All Things, I settle into my warm covers and start writing. Nothing specific. Stories of places that are only present in my mind. Stories of people who are weak then become strong. Stories that I wish I was in. But I'm not. So I just hum to the songs that play softly in my ears and just write. I write until my hand cramps and I have to shake it and then continue. 

For once my body is relaxed. I don't think about my life. My mind is busy but busy with good thoughts. Soon my eyes become harder to keep open. I finish writing the last sentence on my fourth page and close it. Clicking the pen, I set it in my drawer of my nightstand, shut off the lamp and snuggle with my Hero bear that I got from the Caleb. I bring the stuffed bunny under my arm aswell and hope next year my birthday will  be better.