Fragments

4

I awoke again with pain in my chest and tears rolling down my cheeks, I'm so sick of these. I'm going insane. I took a glance on the wall clock, Oh it's already 7 am.

I could hear Razikiel making his way back to the room. I better wipe my tears and act normal or he'll think I'm crazy.

He embraced me, kissing my forehead and holding me tight.

"Good morning beautiful did you sleep well, I prepared breakfast for you" he said as he helped me out of bed. I replied to him "Thank you haha what are you doing today"

He looked sad and told me that he would be busy somewhere, I hate it when he does this doesn't he know I want his attention but he was being to sweet to me to stay mad at him he helped me into my chair and started munching with me.

We both prepared for our morning then his soft lips kissed me one last time before he left. I watched him get into his car and drove away, I was bored out of my mind so I decided to try and find something to watch on YouTube maybe there would be something to hold my entertainment.

After an hour or two with nearly no success I stumbled into the really weird part of this website and saw a video that could tell me what dreams are supposed to mean, I smirked and thought may as well watch it.

As I watched it started to cause a panic from within me it couldn't describe to the full extent what my dreams meant but said that a psychiatrist could do better than the information displayed in the video.

I decided to book an appointment seeing as though I would be alone today I needed to know what these dreams meant and why they are haunting me again, I called and as they answered I was suddenly met with the annoying bubbly voice of the receptionist "Goodmorning, Dr. Lance Buttoner 's office how may I help you?", I told her I would like to make an appointment and arranged the time. I ended the call and prepared myself.

*

I stayed in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity till eventually she called my name, I stepped into the office to see my psychiatrist.

"Good morning how are you today Zaden" he said joyfully.

"I kept on having this reoccurring dream it pains me to think of it, I want to know why this keeps happening again and how it can stop" I replied desperately seeking for an answer.

I described the details of the dream with it still being fresh in my mind, as he begun his sentence.

"Zaden they are simply dreams, nothing more, nothing less sometimes if there's stress in your life you can have dreams that affect you like this but it's nothing to be worried about."

"Maybe but it kept on bugging me, They are growing stronger every night to the point that it's hurting my head so much, They happen even by day. Please help me" I pleaded, He looked at me with some sympathy.

"It's only been 5 months since I last injected you these drugs, I'll give you a higher dosage and some pain killers, It might have a side eff-" I cut him off and informed him that I didn't care what it will cause I just that I want it to end.

He prepared the syringe and injected me with it, I felt a little nauseous maybe because I was given a higher dosage this time. I should just take a rest. We bid goodbyes as I walked out and drive home.

When I arrived I got a glass of water and prepared pain killers as I slowly took off the cap of the bottle, I held them in my hand and they suddenly felt like they had a whole new weight to them, I thought for a moment if this what I really want. As the minutes passed I finally forced myself to take them, swallowing them felt as though a sharp object was stuck in my throat, I was glad though maybe these nightmares will finally end.

I found a new happiness inside of myself believing that this was over and decide to prepare dinner to surprise Razikiel when he comes home, I tried to make everything perfect for when he gets here then as he opened the door I came over to him wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him softly,

"Hey babe I'm glad your home I missed you, follow me no peeking" I made him put one of his hands over his eyes then led him with his other hand.

In the dining room he saw the dinner I prepared and the smile that came across his face was like no other it made me feel so warm, I sat with him and we both dined together it was the best moment today.

After a few hours of us talking and cuddling together we decided to go to bed his arms were wrapped around my body once more I felt so happy to be here with the love of my life, my Razikiel he was so perfect, loving, sweet, everything I've ever wanted.

*

I awoke the next morning, oddly I felt a happy, nothing bad happened in the night I couldn't believe it everything might be turning around for me, I smiled immensely, but suddenly I started the panic... where am I, I'm with Razikiel but how did we get in this bedroom I've never seen it in my life. His evil states are frightening me to death.

"What are you doing?" I said in horror, I saw him pulled a sharp knife and pointed it at me.

"Die" He's like an evil grinning at his prey. I didn't notice he's getting closed to me and corner me.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and I woke up, Ughh God another dream. I grabbed the water on the side table.

Side effects maybe. I drifted to sleep again.

*

Lance POV

"Yes Mr. Kazier, I gave her a higher dosage." I said formally to the person on the other line. "Good, make sure she doesn't remember a thing. It's not yet time" he replied boredly as he ended the call.

I don't care whatever his reasons are, I'm not planning to interfere with his business. Simply because I still want to live plus he pays good cash. That's more than enough.

-Flashback-

"Good morning how are you today Zaden" I said joyfully, isn't it too early for another session? I stared at her beautiful face.

"I keep on having this reoccurring dream it pains me to think of it, I want to know why this keeps happening again and how it can stop" she replied desperately seeking for an answer, Well that's weird.

She described the details of the dream, I could see how worried she is. Poor little Angel. If only you knew. I smiled at her but a part of me is so annoyed. She needs a higher dosage again? It will be bad for her.

"Zaden they are simply dreams, nothing more, nothing less sometimes if there's stress in your life you can have dreams that affect you like this but it's nothing to be worried about." I lied and smiled to make it more convincing.

"Maybe but it kept on bugging me, They are growing stronger every night to the point that it's hurting my head so much, They happen even by day. Please help me" she pleaded, I looked at her with some sympathy. I feel so guilty but I can't do anything.

"It's only been 5 months since I last injected you these drugs, I'll give you a higher dosage and some pain killers, It might have a side eff-" She cut him off and informed me that don't care.

I prepared the Benzodiazepines adding more dosage than usual. She doesn't know a thing about this drug all she know is it would help her. I felt so guilty.

I injected her with it and thought 'everything will be fine'.

-end of flashback-

I shaked my head when I remembered what happened yesterday.

Benzodiazepines are a class of psychoactive drug whose core chemical structure is the fusion a benzene ring and a diazepene  ring. High doses of many shorter-acting benzodiazepines may also cause anterograde amnesia and dissociation.

Poor little girl.