Hunter: Blood Moon

20th March 2011

20/03/2011

R.Black

I still haven't been able to shake the thoughts of dying. Each minute that ticks by brings me one step closer. I know it's the easiest solution, but I can't let them win. I am a Slayer. I am not weak.

I feel weak.

Except when I'm around the Hunter.

I hate that I remember her blood tasting sweet. Even now I get this, urge, to bite her. Her scent is like all the good things in the world. I want to breath it in all day, cover myself in it. I know it's the vampire who almost won thinking those things. It's thoughts are still there, always in the back of my mind. If I don't want to die, maybe I do want to change into one of them.

The doctor managed to stop the change from taking place, but it didn't take it all away.

They think I'm scared of facing vampires again after the attack. I am. I am more scared of giving into the voices and letting them win. Then the Hunter is there. As much as she tempts the monster, she is a beacon of light in the darkness scaring away the evil.

I didn't want to bite her. No, I did. I had no restraint that night. I don't regret it.

Thats not all I want to do.

She drives me crazy. I promised we could be friends. I don't need her to become important to me. I don't trust myself to open up that side, to risk her catching a glimpse of whats going on in my mind. Each time I panic, she is there, guiding me away from the monster and back to her.

Will it always be like this? Will I ever beat the demon inside?

I'm not the only one she sends to the brink of insanity. The Tracker is her victim too only she knows what she does to him, what they do to each other. It's good he has him there to be what I could never be. Before it all I never had any interest in her other than a once off no strings attached arrangment. Being involved with anyone was never in my plan for life. I never want to reproduce, I don't want someone bound to me in marriage. I don't want the pain of loosing them because that will happen.

Now I don't want to lose her.

If only the Tracker and the Hunter could see what I do. They are the lucky ones. The Hunter says I have people to fight for me, I am not alone anymore. I want to believe her. I want to feel some kind of purpose again. If they are willing to fight for me, I will fight for them.

I pray that this is all in my mind, that I am the person I once was because the Hunter can still see it. I need her to keep seeing it because I'm scared of what will happen if she stops.

Travelling with the Hunter and the Tracker is refreshing. It keeps me feeling and I feed off their emotions to fuel my own. Even now as we leave the city back to the Academy they are arguing over the radio. Something so simple yet so important. I hope they realise what they are to each other sooner rather than later, because they are missing out on something beautiful.

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Thanks for all your votes/feedback. I went with Reece because he is one of the ones around at the moment. When Jordan comes back into it, he'll get a shot too :)