*may be triggering*
You stood in the mirror looking at yourself. I hate myself. You reappeared at your self over and over. You stepped on the scale. 128.
"Why am I so fat?" You mouthed in the mirror
You made a quick few slits on your hip bones. And than quickly cleaned up.
All you could think about was why did Matt love you.
Fatty. Failure. Ugly.
These words kept going through your head.
You kept pushing your hair back trying to keep your sobbing quiet.
You slid down with your back on the tub and curled into a ball holding your knees to your stomach.
You heard Matt knock on the bathroom door.
"Babe?"
"Yeah I'm here"
You tried to pull yourself together.
You walked out and Matt grabbed your waist. Making you wince.
"You ok babe?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine babe"
He kissed your lips.
"I love you" he said
"I love you matt"
You nuzzled into his shoulder he made you feel so safe.
You sat on your couch and turned on the tv. You switched to boy meets world.
Matt started making out with you.
"How are you so fucking perfect" he said
You stopped kissing him and looked away.
"Matt can you please not lie to me" you said quietly
"Babe what's wrong" he said rubbing you back
"it's nothing" you had tears in your eyes
"oh my gosh" he brought you close into a hug
You just cried for a while. He just sat there rubbing your back.
"Why are you so sad" he asked after a long silence
"I hate myself" you said choked up
"Please tell me you didn't..."
He had glassy eyes.
He looked at your wrists. He then looked at your stomach. You quickly tugged your shirt back down.
"Your hips... You cut your hips didn't you."
"No...I" you said
"Just tell me you did, I saw it y/n I saw"
"I hate you for loving me. Why waste your love on someone like me. I'll never be good enough, if your trying to get me to have sex for you it's not happening for a while so just go" you cried
"No baby, he said taking our hand. I'm not here for sex. I'm here for you, I don't deserve you."
"You could do so much better Matt"
"No I couldn't because there is nothing better than you"
You stood up. You couldn't take this. He was lying. You tried to run upstairs. You had to cut.
"Where are you going y/n?"
He realized as you were halfway up the stairs what you were about to do.
He ran after you. By the time you were at the top he got you.
He sat and rocked with you in his lap.
"I'm sorry you hate yourself I'm sorry you think no one cares. I'm sorry your hurting. But I'm going to be the best god damn boyfriend and help you through this."
You got up and kissed him. After that you went out to dinner and talked you told matt everything.
🌸I hope you guys liked it don't forget to request!! 🌸
