We're Tighter Than Bark On A Mega Tree

Not Very Original Chapter Name #1

WrItten by Christian Wells Fargo and Janie Raging Ovaries

Janie: The air was filled with bloody urks.

Christian: I was choking on a tomato.

Janie: And my mother was slapping her uncle with a urn filled with her husband's ashes.

Christian: "He was a doctor, HAROLD!"

Janie: She screeched, fainting into a hot mess on the ground.

Christian: Uncle Ben From Spiderman rolled away on his unicycle.

Janie: I stared in horror as Uncle Ben From Spiderman rolled away.

Christian: "Why?" I asked myself staring at a pool of blood and looking at my ugly reflection.

Janie: My dad's ashes were spilt on the ground, in a pile of decay.

Christian: Satan himself rose up from purgatory and sat in the pile of ashes.

Janie: I rose my fist and tried to slug him in the face.

Christian: "He was a doctor, HAROLD!" Yelled Satan.

Janie: I slipped over the ashes of my father, whamming my head on the cold, cold, wooden, hard, erect, floor.

Christian: I gasped in horror as i saw her head hit the hard floor. c;

Janie: "How could Uncle Ben From Spiderman do this to us!1!1"

Christian: "I don't know Janie, but if he came this time, he's gonna come back soon HARDER than ever.

Janie: I grasped the wooden, hard, shaft, of the broomstick that leaned against the wall.

Christian: "that broom sturdy enough to sit on?"

Janie: I ignored Christian and began sweeping the ashes under a carpet.

Christian: I wept on the floor as I thought of Uncle Ben From Spiderman.

Janie: I looked over at Christian and furrowed my eyebrows, then, whacked him with the broom.

Christian: I screeched in pain as I collapsed on the floor.

Janie: "SANTIAGO"

Christian: "that made me feel nice." c;

Janie: I screech the unholy screech of the demons that are inside of me, as I phase through the floor.

Christian: I spun my fidget spinner while watching Durv.

Janie: I slapped Christian's fidget spinner from the very depths of HELL.

Christian: NOOOOOOO MI TORTA!

Janie:"uR NOT ESPANOL CHEISTISNA,"