We're Tighter Than Bark On A Mega Tree

For Jeremy

Christian: It had been eight days of searching for the history.

Janie: They were at a gas station in the middle of nowhere; the clerk was a moose.

Christian: "Excuse me ma'am, do you know where we can find the toilet brushes?"

Janie: The moose only moose'd. "I don't think the lady understands you."

Christian: "We just have to be patient and wait for her response."

Janie: "There are several of her Meese family outside!" I exclaimed, pointing towards the glass door; where several meese have gathered.

Christian: "STAY BACK! I have a toothbrush!"

Janie: I vaulted over the counter and grabbed the Moose clerk, then chucked her outside onto her family like a bowling ball. "Christian!!!!!!! USE THE TOOTHBRUSH!!!!"

Christian: I chuck the toothbrush at the family of meese and they explode into a pile of ash.

Janie: "I think they're dead!"

Christian: "This is a dark day for the meese race."

Janie: I hear sirens in the distance. "IT'S THE MEESE POLICE."

Christian: "RUNNNNNNNNN!!!"

Janie: Meese are flying everywhere, trying to abstain us.

Christian: I start throwing my collection of electric toothbrushes back at them.

Janie: I watch as the toothbrushes bounce off the lifeless body of the Meese, gasping!

Christian: In the distance I see a small blue and red figure laying on the ground.

Janie: "COULD IT BE???"

Christian: "JEREMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Janie: "HOW'D U ESCAPE THE UPPER FLOOR???????"

Christian: I pick the young gnome up and embrace him. "I missed you so much."

Janie: Tears come into my eyes but I feel a squirrel be thrown at my head. I turn back. "THE MEESE CHRISTIAN THEY'RE CLOSE!"

Christian: I glance at Jeremy and then I glance at the Meese Police, I know what I have to do. "I'm sorry Jeremy, forgive me."

Janie: "Christian, what are you thinking?" I ask with concern.

Christian: I toss Jeremy at the Meese Police and they lose control of the car and crash into the forest.

Janie: "NOO!" I scream, as I watch Jeremy drive into the collision with the Meese Police.

Christian: I collapse on the ground sobbing.