Things An Awkward Teenager Should Know

"Hey you! Oil face!"

Recommended for: Oily faced, and I meant that in the most insensitive way humanly possible. Or anyone who denies being one.

I know, I know. How you wash your face, very properly, in the morning and by the time you reach home from school, it looks like you washed your face with oil.

Repeatedly.

Worry not. I am here to solve exactly that problem. 

Now I don't know about you guys, but in my school, we are not allowed to wear makeup and we have uniforms. Not that I would be able to wear make-up, even if it were allowed. 

Anywho...

If you do wear make-up but you face gets all blotchy and oily by the time you get back from school, here are a few do's and don'ts.

Dont's 

* Don't apply more make-up : You know how we see those horror movies, where these people go inside the room despite of knowing that a ghost awaits them? Means that, they know it looks shady, yet curiosity... well, we all know what happened to the cat. This is exactly what you do, when you put more make-up when your face gets oily. 

Still don't understand what I mean? Well, let me give you an example.

If you have homework, this is the only way you and I will understand like my mum said, and rather than taking it out and doing it, you put more and more and more homework over it, trying to hide it. Well, this is not the best example, I do realize that. But it's somewhere close.

By now, I hope you have gotten to know what I mean. 

If you have oily face, the only thing I can tell you  never to do, is to never apply make-up on top of make-up. There are better ways, that we will discuss down below, than to hide your.. oil. 

* Don't try to wipe with your hands : Your hands are more dirty than your thoughts when you see Alex Pettyfer. Never, not until you and I start hating Zac Efron, rub your face with your hands. Don't even touch your face. Your hands have so much bacteria and germs on them that you will end up infecting your own face. Or as we Indians say, "apne per par khulladi marna"

* No powder : I think we have established the fact that you do not hide your oily face with more make-up or powder, and you don't rub your face with your dirty hands. Seriously guys, it's like asking for acne! 

"Hey, can I have my whole face filled with face and then blame the whole damn world for it.. please?"

McDonald's' man say, "Yeah."

Capiche? 

Now, coming to the solutions. What, you didn't think I'd restrict literally everything you thought was a solution till now and walk away, did you?

Well, you think again. I have way too less brain cells to waste on thinking the same thing again.

Solution numero uno (literally the only Spanish I know):

What you need:

* Oily blotting sheets 

* A mirror mirror on the wall, in a wash-room (a car window if not available)

Procedure :

This is a very difficult procedure. I will take you step by step.

1) Take a sheet out of the packet with your dirty hands. 

2) Put it in the face and close your eyes, and begin daydreaming of Starstruck Sterling Knight. 

3) Start wiping your face with it.

4) Throw away the now oil stuck sheet. Or if you want to save it, please do. Just don't ever come near me.

Tough, wasn't it?

Live on Mars like me and can't approach Amazon or literally any drugstore? Worry not. I have a solution for that too.

Die.

No just kidding. I will never be able to live with myself if I asked you to die. I love you way too much.

Or do I?

I do. That's why I bring to you..

*drumroll*

MY LIFESAVER SINCE LITERALLY 3 SECONDS AGO WHEN I DISCOVERED THIS.... DIY OIL BLOTTING SHEETS! 

Random fact : I literally just googled the full form of DIY. Shoot me. 

Solution número dos:

What you need : 

* Tissue paper

Did you know tissue paper does exactly the same function that a oil blotting paper does, yet costs much less? Yes, oil blotting paper also takes out the sweat odour, but nevertheless.. it costs more.

Procedure : 

1) Take a piece of tissue paper you got from the last take-out from Dominos or Taco Bell, even after promising yourself you won't eat junk. 

2) Take a pair of scissors and cut the tissue paper into small squares.

3) If you can find zip-lock bags on Mars, take one and put the papers inside the bag. Then put the zip-lock bag in the front pocket of your bag so that if your mum gave you something oily for lunch, the whole packet is ruined. :)

4) If you live in a deserted place of Mars and can't even find zip-lock sheets, do you have small polythene bags? Well you can cut the shape of a rectangle, fold it in half, then staple (if you can find a stapler of course) the edges.

Voila!

You get yourself a little less oily skin.

That's all the rant for now. Let me know if this works, and if you have any more ideas, do share! I literally do not know any beauty tricks, and this is all I knew and practised. So if you have any better ideas, please leave them down beee-low. 

Also, I will be posting questions for the day that will hopefully keep you engaged and want you to continue to read my book. 

| QUESTION FOR THE DAY |

If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it? 

Silly, I know. But it says a lot about you, trust me. So comment down below where you would hide it.

I would personally hide it in my bathtub in the bathroom. Because that is literally the only place my family hardly goes to.

Yeah... we are a bunch of disgusting freaks who don't have baths for days. Like us! :)

That's all for now.

Until next time.

Adios! 

Cheers

Naina